1 00:01:22,315 --> 00:01:23,858 Here it is, gentlemen. 2 00:01:24,150 --> 00:01:27,737 Enough kaboom to turn Gotham into the world's biggest pothole. 3 00:01:28,028 --> 00:01:30,906 What say we start the bidding at one million? 4 00:01:31,949 --> 00:01:33,825 - One million. - Two million. 5 00:01:34,075 --> 00:01:35,785 - Three million. - Five. 6 00:01:37,495 --> 00:01:42,000 Gentlemen, please. Don't insult me with nickel-and-dime bids. 7 00:01:42,791 --> 00:01:46,253 The man who walks outwith this bomb walks outwith Gotham in his pocket. 8 00:01:46,670 --> 00:01:49,047 Yours to pick clean or blow sky-high. 9 00:01:49,298 --> 00:01:51,632 Your call. What am I bid? 10 00:01:52,049 --> 00:01:54,343 How about nothing? 11 00:01:55,136 --> 00:01:58,306 Zero, zip, zilch, nada. 12 00:02:00,141 --> 00:02:02,309 My personal check for bupkis. 13 00:02:02,392 --> 00:02:05,896 Drawn on the First National Bank of Squadoo. 14 00:02:11,400 --> 00:02:12,860 Sorry, boys, 15 00:02:13,027 --> 00:02:14,653 this lot is sold. 16 00:02:28,916 --> 00:02:30,292 Whoops. 17 00:02:35,506 --> 00:02:37,715 You really should loosen up, dear. 18 00:02:37,882 --> 00:02:39,717 Have a laugh now and then. 19 00:02:48,642 --> 00:02:51,144 That's so much more pleasant. 20 00:02:51,728 --> 00:02:54,856 Alerting the public now would only cause a panic, Commissioner. 21 00:02:54,940 --> 00:02:58,734 But if that madman plans to use the bomb, we've got to clear the city. 22 00:02:58,818 --> 00:03:02,029 I can't evacuate 10 million people on your suspicions. 23 00:03:02,613 --> 00:03:04,740 We don't even know if the bomb's still in Gotham. 24 00:03:05,199 --> 00:03:06,950 Keep me posted if you find anything. 25 00:03:08,368 --> 00:03:10,495 The Joker will be extra cautious this time. 26 00:03:10,745 --> 00:03:11,913 We'll have to think like him. 27 00:03:12,121 --> 00:03:14,249 Or recruit someone who does. 28 00:03:26,843 --> 00:03:27,969 Ms. Quinn. 29 00:03:35,976 --> 00:03:39,187 Don't you knock before entering a lady's boudoir? 30 00:03:39,813 --> 00:03:42,773 - I need help. - Well, you've come to the right place. 31 00:03:43,107 --> 00:03:44,525 I recommend a Iobotomy. 32 00:03:45,693 --> 00:03:47,278 The Joker's stolen a bomb. 33 00:03:47,570 --> 00:03:49,405 If I can't get to him in time 34 00:03:49,572 --> 00:03:52,615 this city and everyone in it is going up in a mushroom cloud. 35 00:03:54,826 --> 00:03:57,328 So you want me to turn squealer on Mr. J. Ha! 36 00:03:58,371 --> 00:04:00,665 Sorry, B-man, no deal. 37 00:04:01,290 --> 00:04:03,417 I've talked to Gordon and Dr. Bartholomew. 38 00:04:03,959 --> 00:04:06,920 You help me find the Joker, and they'll write your ticket out of here. 39 00:04:07,087 --> 00:04:08,255 Whee! 40 00:04:08,338 --> 00:04:10,756 If you promise no double-cross. 41 00:04:12,174 --> 00:04:14,760 Ah, shoot, take all the fun out of life. 42 00:04:15,344 --> 00:04:16,971 I don't have time for jokes. 43 00:04:17,972 --> 00:04:19,931 Okay, okay, I promise. 44 00:04:20,140 --> 00:04:21,141 Shake? 45 00:04:25,979 --> 00:04:27,439 Oh, the irony of it. 46 00:04:27,522 --> 00:04:31,817 The grim, stalwart Dark Knight and his greatest female adversary 47 00:04:31,901 --> 00:04:34,028 fighting together to save the city. 48 00:04:40,992 --> 00:04:42,577 I sense a lack of trust. 49 00:04:43,870 --> 00:04:47,040 Sure you don't need any help keeping Zippy under control? 50 00:04:47,290 --> 00:04:48,373 I'm fine. 51 00:04:48,665 --> 00:04:51,710 Besides, I need you to be ready if Gordon's men get any leads. 52 00:04:51,960 --> 00:04:54,004 - I'll signal if there's trouble. - You got it. 53 00:04:54,546 --> 00:04:56,881 - I wanna listen to the radio. - Don't! 54 00:05:10,352 --> 00:05:11,394 Oops. 55 00:05:11,645 --> 00:05:13,480 Listen, and listen good. 56 00:05:13,980 --> 00:05:16,899 You don't touch anything, say anything 57 00:05:16,982 --> 00:05:19,026 or do anything unless I tell you! 58 00:05:19,276 --> 00:05:21,403 - Got it? - Yes, sir. 59 00:05:24,697 --> 00:05:27,450 So far, Joker hasn't been seen at any of his old hideouts. 60 00:05:27,909 --> 00:05:30,787 I want you to show me the last place he used when he escaped. 61 00:05:32,538 --> 00:05:33,705 Okay. 62 00:05:39,378 --> 00:05:42,422 This used to be our special love nest. 63 00:05:46,008 --> 00:05:49,220 Have a look around while I slip into something more comfortable. 64 00:05:49,845 --> 00:05:50,930 No tricks. 65 00:05:51,389 --> 00:05:53,348 Hey, we have a deal, remember? 66 00:06:26,169 --> 00:06:27,337 Whee! 67 00:06:28,380 --> 00:06:31,799 Ah! I feel like a human being again. 68 00:06:33,467 --> 00:06:36,262 Hi, babies! Mommy's home! 69 00:06:39,806 --> 00:06:42,308 Are you the sweetest babies? 70 00:06:42,392 --> 00:06:45,186 Yes, you are. Yes, you are. 71 00:06:47,439 --> 00:06:49,690 How do you “he our ha-hacienda? 72 00:06:50,107 --> 00:06:51,233 Charming. 73 00:06:51,817 --> 00:06:53,444 Especially these monitors. 74 00:06:53,736 --> 00:06:56,030 Between the cops, city hall and the mayor's office, 75 00:06:56,113 --> 00:06:57,697 Joker has the whole city wired. 76 00:06:58,197 --> 00:06:59,365 He's a genius. 77 00:06:59,824 --> 00:07:01,242 What's the attraction, Quinn? 78 00:07:01,993 --> 00:07:03,911 This sick infatuation with the Joker. 79 00:07:04,120 --> 00:07:06,164 Look, Bats, when I was a doctor 80 00:07:06,247 --> 00:07:08,999 I was always listening to other people's problems. 81 00:07:09,875 --> 00:07:15,255 Then I met Mr. J., who listened to me for a change and made everything fun. 82 00:07:17,715 --> 00:07:19,425 You think it's funny when he hurts people? 83 00:07:20,092 --> 00:07:21,302 It's just a joke. 84 00:07:21,552 --> 00:07:23,554 Hope you're still laughing when it's your turn. 85 00:07:24,138 --> 00:07:25,221 Hmph. 86 00:07:27,557 --> 00:07:29,642 Meet us at the Apex novelty factory. 87 00:07:29,851 --> 00:07:33,188 Quinn says it's an old hideout. But the Joker may be using it again. 88 00:07:33,354 --> 00:07:34,480 I'm on my way. 89 00:07:45,198 --> 00:07:48,326 - Grab on. - I can do it myself, thank you. 90 00:07:49,911 --> 00:07:51,704 Ha-ha! Ow! 91 00:08:08,761 --> 00:08:10,262 Sneak, sneak, sneak. 92 00:08:10,763 --> 00:08:12,055 - Shh. - Shh. 93 00:08:12,263 --> 00:08:15,809 What do you mean, "Shh"? No one's been in this dump for years. 94 00:08:37,328 --> 00:08:38,454 Uh-oh. 95 00:08:44,668 --> 00:08:46,962 Hey, guys, look who I got. 96 00:08:49,255 --> 00:08:50,548 Well, well. 97 00:08:51,048 --> 00:08:52,174 If it ain't the big, bad Batman 98 00:08:52,258 --> 00:08:54,343 come to break up Boxy Bennett's little social club. 99 00:08:55,469 --> 00:08:57,804 It's gonna cost you, freak, big time. 100 00:08:58,138 --> 00:09:00,932 Hi, Boxy. Long time no see. 101 00:09:02,183 --> 00:09:03,393 Harley Quinn. 102 00:09:03,768 --> 00:09:06,521 Last I heard, they tossed you in the squirrel farm and swallowed the key. 103 00:09:07,604 --> 00:09:08,647 What you doing with the Bat? 104 00:09:11,108 --> 00:09:14,736 Come on, you don't think I was working with Batman? 105 00:09:14,987 --> 00:09:18,781 I know you'd blow us both away if you thought that. 106 00:09:19,490 --> 00:09:20,616 You thought right, sugar. 107 00:09:23,911 --> 00:09:24,954 Phew. 108 00:09:25,288 --> 00:09:27,497 So, you ain't seen Mr. J. around, have you? 109 00:09:27,581 --> 00:09:28,623 Nope. 110 00:09:28,707 --> 00:09:30,959 You know, I never could figure what a cute "file number like yourself 111 00:09:31,042 --> 00:09:32,711 saw in a slob like the Joker. 112 00:09:33,253 --> 00:09:36,130 Especially when there are suave guys like me around. 113 00:09:36,922 --> 00:09:38,090 Now, Boxy. 114 00:09:38,674 --> 00:09:41,260 Sure, my pudding's a little temperamental. 115 00:09:43,345 --> 00:09:46,848 But, gee, what relationship doesn't have its ups and downs? 116 00:09:55,314 --> 00:09:56,356 A flat. 117 00:10:00,694 --> 00:10:05,281 I never knew That our romance had ended 118 00:10:05,907 --> 00:10:09,243 Until you poisoned my food 119 00:10:10,244 --> 00:10:12,704 And I thought it was a lark 120 00:10:13,163 --> 00:10:15,874 When you kicked me in the park 121 00:10:16,708 --> 00:10:20,253 But now I think it was rude 122 00:10:22,296 --> 00:10:26,592 I never knew that you and I were finished 123 00:10:27,426 --> 00:10:30,303 Until that bottle hit my head 124 00:10:31,888 --> 00:10:34,515 Though I tried to be aloof 125 00:10:34,766 --> 00:10:37,060 When you pushed me off the roof 126 00:10:38,353 --> 00:10:41,438 I feel our romance is dead 127 00:10:43,398 --> 00:10:47,903 It wouldn't have been so bad If you had told me 128 00:10:48,403 --> 00:10:52,240 That someone had taken my place 129 00:10:53,824 --> 00:10:58,495 But no No, you didn't even scold me 130 00:10:58,912 --> 00:11:03,667 You just tried to disfigure my face 131 00:11:05,418 --> 00:11:10,339 You'll never know How this heart of mine is breaking 132 00:11:10,756 --> 00:11:14,093 It looks so hopeless, but then 133 00:11:15,427 --> 00:11:18,346 Life used to be so placid 134 00:11:18,429 --> 00:11:21,474 Won't you please put down that acid? 135 00:11:21,557 --> 00:11:27,646 And say that we're sweethearts again 136 00:11:32,651 --> 00:11:34,903 - Yeah. - All right, baby! 137 00:11:40,116 --> 00:11:42,702 Whoo! All right, B and R! 138 00:11:50,542 --> 00:11:51,876 Hey, ugly. 139 00:11:54,378 --> 00:11:55,546 They're all working together. 140 00:12:10,226 --> 00:12:11,894 Let's go, Quinn! 141 00:12:12,227 --> 00:12:13,395 Quinn! 142 00:12:13,478 --> 00:12:14,771 Whee! 143 00:12:14,855 --> 00:12:16,565 Bombs away! 144 00:12:17,357 --> 00:12:18,734 Huh? 145 00:12:20,527 --> 00:12:21,610 Yes! 146 00:12:26,490 --> 00:12:28,409 Did you see the way I handled those creeps? 147 00:12:28,534 --> 00:12:29,785 Pow! Bam! 148 00:12:29,869 --> 00:12:32,162 Oh, Batgirl, eat your heart out. 149 00:12:32,912 --> 00:12:35,582 What was she before she went bonkers? 150 00:12:35,957 --> 00:12:37,459 A clinical psychiatrist. 151 00:12:39,461 --> 00:12:40,669 Figures. 152 00:12:46,884 --> 00:12:48,594 - Any word on the Joker? - Nothing. 153 00:12:49,135 --> 00:12:52,055 I even checked with Gordon again, and the mayor still refuses 154 00:12:52,138 --> 00:12:53,848 to let the cops evacuate the city. 155 00:12:57,977 --> 00:12:59,144 Oh, it's brilliant. 156 00:13:00,520 --> 00:13:02,481 Way to go, Mr. J.! 157 00:13:02,856 --> 00:13:03,940 What are you saying? 158 00:13:04,358 --> 00:13:06,276 Oh, come on, Bats. 159 00:13:06,943 --> 00:13:09,945 You've seen how my pudding keeps an eye on Gotham. 160 00:13:10,279 --> 00:13:12,156 What better way to tie up the cops 161 00:13:12,239 --> 00:13:14,158 than to tie up the mayor? 162 00:13:19,788 --> 00:13:20,997 Whoo-hoo! 163 00:13:36,803 --> 00:13:39,972 See, do I know how Mr. J. thinks, or what? Ha! 164 00:13:41,015 --> 00:13:44,726 And here you thought I was just another bubble-headed blond bimbo. 165 00:13:44,810 --> 00:13:48,105 Well, the joke's on you. I'm not even a real blond. 166 00:13:50,899 --> 00:13:52,192 Good job. 167 00:13:53,485 --> 00:13:55,027 Huh? Hey! 168 00:13:58,656 --> 00:14:01,909 - What gives? - I can't risk you warning the Joker. 169 00:14:02,868 --> 00:14:05,078 Would I do a thing like that? 170 00:14:05,912 --> 00:14:07,914 Hey, let me out! Come on! 171 00:14:10,583 --> 00:14:13,293 Boy, you just can't trust some people. 172 00:14:21,635 --> 00:14:25,763 Nothing like a moonlight dip, eh, Mr. Mayor? 173 00:14:26,097 --> 00:14:29,142 Please, just make your ransom demands and get on with it. 174 00:14:31,143 --> 00:14:33,854 Oh, no ransom this time, Hammy. 175 00:14:34,146 --> 00:14:37,065 - You can't mean- - Oh, yes, indeedy-do. 176 00:14:37,190 --> 00:14:41,861 Instead of taking you, the cops and the Batman down separately, 177 00:14:41,944 --> 00:14:44,280 I'm going to blast you all at once. 178 00:14:45,906 --> 00:14:47,992 Send down the plane, boys. 179 00:14:48,242 --> 00:14:50,034 We're blowing town. 180 00:14:50,285 --> 00:14:51,369 Literally. 181 00:14:51,786 --> 00:14:53,037 Yes, sir. 182 00:14:53,830 --> 00:14:55,790 But all those innocent people. 183 00:14:56,082 --> 00:15:01,545 Some joke on them, eh? Think of it as the ultimate punch line. 184 00:15:43,958 --> 00:15:45,334 What? Hey! 185 00:15:49,630 --> 00:15:53,342 Gee, it's amazing what you find in people's glove compartments. 186 00:15:54,425 --> 00:15:55,551 Harley? 187 00:15:55,801 --> 00:15:58,387 Hi, pudding. Miss me? 188 00:16:00,473 --> 00:16:03,100 You clever little minx. 189 00:16:03,476 --> 00:16:05,352 How did you escape from Arkham? 190 00:16:05,727 --> 00:16:08,146 Batman sprung me so I could find you. 191 00:16:08,772 --> 00:16:11,900 Had me all locked up in his bad old car, too. 192 00:16:12,442 --> 00:16:13,526 Aww. 193 00:16:14,485 --> 00:16:16,362 Quinn, we had a deal! 194 00:16:16,612 --> 00:16:20,908 Deal's off, B-man. No one ever said anything about hurting Mr. J. 195 00:16:35,963 --> 00:16:37,089 Oh! 196 00:16:40,841 --> 00:16:43,469 10-minute countdown sequence has been engaged. 197 00:16:43,553 --> 00:16:44,804 Oh, my Lord. 198 00:16:45,429 --> 00:16:46,639 Come, my dear. 199 00:16:46,722 --> 00:16:50,809 We'll get to a safe altitude, then watch the fireworks. 200 00:16:50,892 --> 00:16:52,811 It's lucky you were here, Harley. 201 00:16:53,019 --> 00:16:55,689 The countdown sequence didn't leave Joker enough time 202 00:16:55,772 --> 00:16:57,732 to swing by Arkham and pick you up. 203 00:16:58,233 --> 00:16:59,525 Quiet, brat. 204 00:16:59,775 --> 00:17:02,486 You were gonna come back for me, weren't you, pudding? 205 00:17:02,695 --> 00:17:04,989 Of course, pumpkin pie. 206 00:17:05,072 --> 00:17:07,908 It's just that... Well, here you are, 207 00:17:07,992 --> 00:17:10,577 so I can save myself a trip. 208 00:17:11,035 --> 00:17:12,495 But what about all our friends? 209 00:17:12,579 --> 00:17:17,584 Ivy and Two-Face and hat guy and lizard man and puppet head and- 210 00:17:18,041 --> 00:17:19,167 What about them? 211 00:17:19,459 --> 00:17:21,003 Don't forget your little pets. 212 00:17:22,045 --> 00:17:25,507 The babies! We can't leave the babies! 213 00:17:25,882 --> 00:17:27,842 I'll buy you a goldfish! 214 00:17:27,925 --> 00:17:30,219 - Let's go! - No! 215 00:17:30,469 --> 00:17:31,762 Why, you little- 216 00:17:56,909 --> 00:17:58,911 You know, Bats, I got a crazy idea 217 00:17:58,995 --> 00:18:02,165 Mr. J. may not be the guy for me after all. 218 00:18:43,159 --> 00:18:46,204 - Go around again! - But, boss... 219 00:18:49,123 --> 00:18:51,833 - I said do it! - Yes, sir. 220 00:19:03,511 --> 00:19:05,388 Made it with time to spare. 221 00:19:34,914 --> 00:19:38,125 That bomb's going off even if I go with it! 222 00:19:48,092 --> 00:19:50,594 Laugh this off, pudding! 223 00:20:10,362 --> 00:20:11,405 Whoa! 224 00:20:49,606 --> 00:20:52,983 - Freeze, clown. - Quinn, stop! 225 00:20:53,567 --> 00:20:55,110 He's mine, Bats. 226 00:20:59,656 --> 00:21:01,574 You wouldn't dare. 227 00:21:03,493 --> 00:21:05,203 You don't have the guts. 228 00:21:07,205 --> 00:21:09,498 Not in a million years would you- 229 00:21:29,557 --> 00:21:32,393 Baby, you're the greatest.