1 00:01:31,901 --> 00:01:34,487 We've waited weeks for reservations. 2 00:01:42,995 --> 00:01:46,040 - Name? - King, party of one. 3 00:01:46,457 --> 00:01:50,753 King, King. No, I'm sorry, I don't show that reservation. 4 00:01:51,045 --> 00:01:54,548 Oh, yeah? Well, let me show you something, fruitcake. 5 00:01:56,384 --> 00:01:57,593 Ahh! 6 00:02:00,846 --> 00:02:02,348 Hands up, chowhounds. 7 00:02:02,682 --> 00:02:08,771 Drop your forks and prepare to cower before the uncanny Condiment King. 8 00:02:08,854 --> 00:02:11,524 - Who is that? - Some kind of nutcase. 9 00:02:11,607 --> 00:02:14,652 - Just ignore him. - Someone will call security. 10 00:02:15,111 --> 00:02:20,741 Hey. Hey! I don't believe this! I say cower, and you're still eating? 11 00:02:21,158 --> 00:02:22,952 Well, all right then. 12 00:02:30,126 --> 00:02:32,378 Now, see here, you. 13 00:02:39,343 --> 00:02:40,594 Hot sauce. 14 00:02:41,971 --> 00:02:44,014 Anyone else want to be a hero? 15 00:02:44,223 --> 00:02:46,392 Then take out your wallets, cash and jewels 16 00:02:46,559 --> 00:02:49,145 and toss them here on the table. Come on. Right now. 17 00:02:52,606 --> 00:02:54,942 Disturbance reported at the top of the Crown restaurant. 18 00:02:55,192 --> 00:02:59,071 Suspect is a male, costumed extremist armed with what appears to be 19 00:02:59,280 --> 00:03:00,322 a ketchup gun. 20 00:03:00,573 --> 00:03:03,075 It's gonna be one of those nights. 21 00:03:08,664 --> 00:03:13,753 So long, suckers. Parting is such sweet-and-sour sorrow. 22 00:03:22,303 --> 00:03:23,471 What's this? 23 00:03:23,929 --> 00:03:27,057 Ah! The big, bad Bat-guy. 24 00:03:27,558 --> 00:03:31,437 I knew you'd catch up to me sooner or later. How I've relished this meeting. 25 00:03:32,021 --> 00:03:37,735 You, the dynamic Dark Knight, versus me, the conceptual Condiment King. 26 00:03:38,110 --> 00:03:39,153 Come, Batman. 27 00:03:39,612 --> 00:03:42,948 Let's see if you can cut the mustard- 28 00:03:43,032 --> 00:03:44,158 Quiet. 29 00:03:46,327 --> 00:03:49,413 - You hit me. - Now, listen, Mustard Man, 30 00:03:49,663 --> 00:03:51,332 or whatever you call yourself. 31 00:03:51,874 --> 00:03:55,252 You're obviously new at this, so I'm willing to go easy on you. 32 00:03:55,461 --> 00:03:58,923 Provided you give back the loot and never even think about doing this again. 33 00:03:59,173 --> 00:04:00,216 Deal? 34 00:04:01,342 --> 00:04:04,220 - Horseradish! - This is your last warning. 35 00:04:04,470 --> 00:04:06,806 Let's go, Batso. You and me. 36 00:04:07,223 --> 00:04:10,184 I'm the prince of pickles, sultan of sauce. 37 00:04:11,018 --> 00:04:13,395 You don't stand a chance. You hear me? 38 00:04:14,188 --> 00:04:15,815 Later, chump. 39 00:04:20,319 --> 00:04:21,529 Hang on. 40 00:04:33,457 --> 00:04:34,917 Harvey, call an ambulance. 41 00:04:36,043 --> 00:04:37,628 I know this man. 42 00:04:38,170 --> 00:04:40,756 He's that TV comic, Buddy Standler. 43 00:04:42,466 --> 00:04:44,134 Still no clues in the mystery 44 00:04:44,218 --> 00:04:45,886 behind comedian Buddy Standler's 45 00:04:45,970 --> 00:04:47,888 one-man crime spree last night. 46 00:04:48,138 --> 00:04:52,101 A rampage that ended with a trip to the hospital for the famed TV comic. 47 00:04:52,351 --> 00:04:55,479 Though Standler himself is unable to account for his actions, 48 00:04:55,646 --> 00:04:57,982 his manager had these observations. 49 00:04:58,232 --> 00:05:02,570 I don't get it. Buddy's just thrown his entire career away. 50 00:05:02,778 --> 00:05:04,947 The network's canceling his show 51 00:05:05,114 --> 00:05:07,741 and the restaurant's suing him for a million dollars. 52 00:05:07,950 --> 00:05:10,661 Why'd he do it? It just doesn't make sense. 53 00:05:10,870 --> 00:05:14,582 That's too bad. I watch Standler's show all the time. He's great. 54 00:05:14,790 --> 00:05:17,543 Any idea what would have caused him to go off the deep end? 55 00:05:17,918 --> 00:05:20,421 No, but talk about bad timing. 56 00:05:20,838 --> 00:05:22,464 He was supposed to be one of the judges 57 00:05:22,548 --> 00:05:24,633 for the annual laugh-off competition tonight. 58 00:05:25,009 --> 00:05:26,760 Alfred and I bought tickets. 59 00:05:27,344 --> 00:05:29,346 By the way, where is Alfred? 60 00:05:38,939 --> 00:05:42,276 - One side, mac. - I beg your pardon. 61 00:05:47,740 --> 00:05:50,200 Ooh. Pretty. I want it. 62 00:05:51,911 --> 00:05:55,039 - Hey, you can't do that. - Sure I can, lady. 63 00:05:55,247 --> 00:05:57,249 I'm the Pack Rat, 64 00:05:57,499 --> 00:06:00,753 - and your trash is my treasure. - Hey! 65 00:06:03,923 --> 00:06:05,007 Mmm. Shiny. 66 00:06:06,383 --> 00:06:07,426 Security! 67 00:06:12,348 --> 00:06:13,974 Oh, no, you don't. 68 00:06:26,862 --> 00:06:29,073 Whoa, dibs on the dummy hand. 69 00:06:30,824 --> 00:06:32,076 Good heavens. 70 00:06:39,833 --> 00:06:42,169 I've been looking everyplace for one of these. 71 00:06:53,222 --> 00:06:54,723 - Yes? - Master Bruce? 72 00:06:54,807 --> 00:06:55,933 Alfred? 73 00:06:56,016 --> 00:06:58,310 I think you're needed at Mayfield's right away, sir. 74 00:06:58,394 --> 00:07:00,312 There's a man with a gun running amok. 75 00:07:00,479 --> 00:07:01,563 He's- 76 00:07:01,730 --> 00:07:05,818 A word of advice, mac. Never rat on a rat. 77 00:07:15,119 --> 00:07:16,245 Alfred? 78 00:07:19,832 --> 00:07:21,417 Alfred! 79 00:07:35,097 --> 00:07:37,599 You'll get oatmeal and like it. 80 00:07:38,100 --> 00:07:42,604 Listen, Eddie, if they expect me to judge that stupid laugh-off again, 81 00:07:42,688 --> 00:07:44,815 they'd better be prepared to pay. 82 00:07:46,025 --> 00:07:49,028 Hold on, I got somebody at the door. 83 00:07:54,783 --> 00:07:56,702 - Yeah? - Pizza delivery. 84 00:07:56,910 --> 00:07:58,787 I didn't order any pizza. 85 00:08:00,664 --> 00:08:04,668 - But I'll take it. How much? - It's on me. 86 00:08:05,169 --> 00:08:06,962 Hey! 87 00:08:16,305 --> 00:08:18,307 Okay, everybody, empty your pockets. 88 00:08:19,767 --> 00:08:22,978 I want gum wrappers, loose string, those little balls of lint. 89 00:08:25,022 --> 00:08:26,690 None of that cash stuff. 90 00:08:27,274 --> 00:08:28,525 Hey! 91 00:08:29,610 --> 00:08:31,111 What? 92 00:08:32,196 --> 00:08:35,783 So it's the rat versus the bat and the brat. 93 00:08:36,075 --> 00:08:40,037 Only one will survive, and that's gonna be me. 94 00:08:40,120 --> 00:08:41,455 Everybody, clear out. 95 00:09:10,150 --> 00:09:11,652 Come on out. 96 00:09:16,490 --> 00:09:17,908 Mmm, mmm, mmm. 97 00:09:52,067 --> 00:09:53,318 It's Harry Loomis. 98 00:09:53,610 --> 00:09:55,112 Another famous comedian. 99 00:09:55,362 --> 00:09:56,488 Look at his neck. 100 00:10:04,746 --> 00:10:06,039 A microchip? 101 00:10:07,166 --> 00:10:08,542 Mind control. 102 00:10:09,251 --> 00:10:13,005 This is beginning to point toward our old friend, the Mad Hatter. 103 00:10:26,226 --> 00:10:29,104 Wake up, Jervis. We have to talk. 104 00:10:30,898 --> 00:10:32,774 Come on, rise and shine. 105 00:10:40,073 --> 00:10:41,825 Wow, he's really out. 106 00:11:07,142 --> 00:11:08,268 Here's what we know. 107 00:11:09,519 --> 00:11:13,440 Someone implants the Mad Hatter with one of his own mind-control devices, 108 00:11:13,690 --> 00:11:15,859 then does the same thing to two comedians. 109 00:11:16,026 --> 00:11:17,277 But what's the connection? 110 00:11:17,527 --> 00:11:19,780 Looks like it's three comedians now, sir. 111 00:11:21,990 --> 00:11:24,451 "TV personality Lisa Lorraine was abducted 112 00:11:24,534 --> 00:11:26,370 "from her apartment early this evening." 113 00:11:26,578 --> 00:11:30,457 And here's our common link. This comedy competition. 114 00:11:30,707 --> 00:11:33,460 Sure. Buddy, Harry and Lisa judge it every year. 115 00:11:33,919 --> 00:11:35,504 Remember, we taped the last one. 116 00:11:35,963 --> 00:11:37,172 Right here, Master Dick. 117 00:11:37,256 --> 00:11:39,174 And I've cued it to something you should see. 118 00:11:45,472 --> 00:11:47,266 Well, that's it for our contestants. 119 00:11:47,349 --> 00:11:50,602 Now our panel of distinguished judges will choose 120 00:11:50,686 --> 00:11:53,730 the funniest person in Gotham. 121 00:12:01,363 --> 00:12:05,450 Not so fast, chuckles. You haven't introduced me yet. 122 00:12:05,659 --> 00:12:07,703 Smiling Shecky Rimshot. 123 00:12:07,786 --> 00:12:09,288 Ba-dum-boom. 124 00:12:11,623 --> 00:12:12,916 Come on, already. 125 00:12:14,835 --> 00:12:16,586 Good evening, ladies and germs. 126 00:12:16,837 --> 00:12:19,798 Hey, did you hear about the guy walked into a doctor's office 127 00:12:19,881 --> 00:12:22,050 with a frog on his head? Doctor says, 128 00:12:22,134 --> 00:12:24,928 "That's the weirdest looking wart I've ever seen." Frog looks up and says, 129 00:12:25,012 --> 00:12:28,015 "Yeah, I woke up this morning, there was a big bump on my butt." 130 00:12:34,062 --> 00:12:36,523 Hey, then there's this guy who buys a new dog. 131 00:12:36,606 --> 00:12:38,400 He takes it for a walk and the friend says- 132 00:12:38,483 --> 00:12:39,693 Huh? 133 00:12:39,860 --> 00:12:43,155 Sorry, pal. We've already made our decision. 134 00:12:43,363 --> 00:12:47,326 And for your information, registration closed days ago. 135 00:12:47,743 --> 00:12:50,579 I'm not leaving until I get that trophy. 136 00:12:52,289 --> 00:12:54,374 Oh, yes, you are. 137 00:12:58,879 --> 00:13:00,756 You can't do this to me! 138 00:13:00,839 --> 00:13:02,841 I'm the greatest comic in Gotham! 139 00:13:04,092 --> 00:13:06,970 I'll get even. I'll ruin you all. 140 00:13:07,554 --> 00:13:09,139 Freeze it right there. 141 00:13:12,768 --> 00:13:14,686 I think I see what you mean, Alfred. 142 00:13:16,355 --> 00:13:17,481 Without the hat... 143 00:13:19,691 --> 00:13:21,109 And different hair... 144 00:13:21,568 --> 00:13:22,903 The Joker! 145 00:13:37,209 --> 00:13:38,960 I tell you, Maury, I'm dying here. 146 00:13:39,044 --> 00:13:40,337 I got a full house, 147 00:13:40,420 --> 00:13:43,632 and all three of my celebrity judges are either missing or in jail. 148 00:13:43,715 --> 00:13:46,093 You gotta find me some replacements quick. 149 00:13:47,010 --> 00:13:49,513 Ask and ye shall receive. 150 00:13:49,930 --> 00:13:51,640 What in the... 151 00:13:52,557 --> 00:13:57,187 Permit me to introduce Judges Knuckles, Vinnie and Kowalski. 152 00:13:57,604 --> 00:14:00,357 They'll be presenting me with the trophy tonight. 153 00:14:00,857 --> 00:14:03,902 Listen, you can't just walk in here and take... 154 00:14:04,069 --> 00:14:06,071 Oh, but I already have. 155 00:14:12,244 --> 00:14:14,454 These little microchips are a wonder. 156 00:14:14,788 --> 00:14:19,042 Remind me to thank the Mad Hatter if he ever wakes up. 157 00:14:20,919 --> 00:14:22,796 Hey, start the show already. 158 00:14:23,171 --> 00:14:26,216 - Let's go already! - Start the show! 159 00:14:26,675 --> 00:14:31,346 Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the 10th annual Gotham Laff Off. 160 00:14:32,806 --> 00:14:35,475 And now, it is my deepest honor to present to you 161 00:14:35,559 --> 00:14:40,230 the evening's first and only contestant, Smiling Shecky Rimshot. 162 00:14:41,815 --> 00:14:43,567 Hey, folks, you're beautiful. 163 00:14:43,650 --> 00:14:46,570 Funny thing happened to me on the way to the theater last year. 164 00:14:46,653 --> 00:14:51,032 It seems three no-talent hacks tried to stop me from winning. 165 00:14:51,241 --> 00:14:52,576 But guess what! 166 00:14:55,245 --> 00:14:57,581 I'm back. 167 00:15:04,546 --> 00:15:07,674 Oh! Such unhappy faces. 168 00:15:08,133 --> 00:15:10,260 Judges, let's cheer them up. 169 00:15:14,598 --> 00:15:18,727 My high-octane laughing gas will have you rolling in the aisles. 170 00:15:33,742 --> 00:15:36,036 It's just you and us, Joker. 171 00:15:36,369 --> 00:15:38,413 Not quite, Batman. 172 00:15:38,663 --> 00:15:42,834 I've got a new girl, and she'll really sweep you off your feet. 173 00:15:47,172 --> 00:15:48,465 Lisa Lorraine? 174 00:15:51,468 --> 00:15:54,930 Call me Mighty Mom. 175 00:15:55,138 --> 00:15:56,431 Ain't she sweet? 176 00:15:57,682 --> 00:16:01,061 My very own happy homemaker. 177 00:16:01,228 --> 00:16:03,438 But I don't do windows. 178 00:16:04,814 --> 00:16:06,066 Not bad. 179 00:16:06,358 --> 00:16:09,361 Honey, why don't you show our pals how you clean house? 180 00:16:09,611 --> 00:16:12,405 In other words, mop 'em up. 181 00:16:20,580 --> 00:16:23,500 Who's first to get dusted? 182 00:16:24,042 --> 00:16:25,669 Think you can get the brain patch off her? 183 00:16:25,877 --> 00:16:26,878 No problem. 184 00:16:33,510 --> 00:16:37,180 - Hey! - Naughty boy. Mama spank. 185 00:16:43,645 --> 00:16:46,815 What did I tell you about playing with your toys in the house? 186 00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:49,734 - Get rid of it! - You're the boss. 187 00:16:58,577 --> 00:17:02,789 No! Not on my nice clean floor. 188 00:17:02,872 --> 00:17:05,625 - Just hold still. - Ow! 189 00:17:05,875 --> 00:17:07,210 That hurts. 190 00:17:10,046 --> 00:17:13,550 - Don't worry. I'm back to normal. - Who can tell? 191 00:17:37,949 --> 00:17:41,202 - Stay back. - You've hit a new low, Joker. 192 00:17:41,620 --> 00:17:45,165 Only you would ruin three lives for a silly piece of tin. 193 00:17:45,665 --> 00:17:47,751 You're dumber than you look, Bats. 194 00:17:50,003 --> 00:17:53,882 It's not the trophy that matters, it's the title. 195 00:17:53,965 --> 00:17:58,720 I am the greatest clown this dismal burg has ever seen. 196 00:17:58,928 --> 00:18:02,474 What would the common folk do without my pranks and antics? 197 00:18:03,016 --> 00:18:04,267 Let's find out. 198 00:18:08,897 --> 00:18:12,108 Up, up and away! 199 00:18:29,751 --> 00:18:31,378 Quit rocking the boat! 200 00:18:42,847 --> 00:18:45,767 Oh! Too bad, Bat-sap. 201 00:18:45,850 --> 00:18:48,061 But you should have remembered the old saying, 202 00:18:48,311 --> 00:18:51,648 "Dying is easy, comedy is hard." 203 00:19:03,159 --> 00:19:04,994 Mind if I join the party? 204 00:19:12,335 --> 00:19:14,713 Ow! You miserable brat. 205 00:19:20,969 --> 00:19:22,929 Get this stupid thing off me. 206 00:19:29,269 --> 00:19:30,437 Oops! 207 00:19:31,980 --> 00:19:33,022 Watch it. 208 00:19:33,815 --> 00:19:36,484 I think I'm getting airsick. 209 00:19:56,129 --> 00:20:01,551 I'll get you for this, Batman! No one upstages me and lives. 210 00:20:03,970 --> 00:20:06,890 Is there a problem, officers? 211 00:20:13,229 --> 00:20:18,234 What's so funny? I'll give you something to laugh about!