1 00:00:11,261 --> 00:00:12,095 Olivia. 2 00:00:13,221 --> 00:00:14,264 Angelo DeStevens. 3 00:00:15,515 --> 00:00:16,349 Hi. 4 00:00:20,311 --> 00:00:22,147 You don't know who I am, do you? 5 00:00:22,981 --> 00:00:26,943 [chuckles] It's okay. Why would you? You're new to the business. Allow me. 6 00:00:40,623 --> 00:00:42,041 Press play, enjoy. 7 00:00:45,837 --> 00:00:50,425 The first thing I'd want people to know about me is I am a friend of cannabis. 8 00:00:50,508 --> 00:00:55,013 So, if you're a friend of cannabis, well, we have a mutual friend. 9 00:00:58,349 --> 00:00:59,184 Cannabis. 10 00:00:59,601 --> 00:01:03,855 [announcer] For over 30 years, Angelo DeStevens has been a dynamic force 11 00:01:03,938 --> 00:01:07,067 in the cannabis space for over three decades. 12 00:01:07,650 --> 00:01:11,988 Activist, founder of the world's premier chain of marijuana dispensaries, 13 00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:13,656 Bud Bong and Beyond. 14 00:01:13,740 --> 00:01:18,828 And author of Amazon Top 500 bestseller, Smoke This Book. 15 00:01:20,163 --> 00:01:23,833 As well as its companion, Smoke This Audiobook. 16 00:01:25,126 --> 00:01:28,755 Some people pick up the clarinet for the first time, and it's like 17 00:01:28,838 --> 00:01:31,925 they've been playing their whole life. It comes natural. 18 00:01:32,008 --> 00:01:33,593 For others, it's the bassoon. 19 00:01:34,219 --> 00:01:36,137 Others, it's the contrabassoon. 20 00:01:37,514 --> 00:01:38,973 That's the bigger bassoon. 21 00:01:39,057 --> 00:01:40,433 [blowing contrabassoon] 22 00:01:44,646 --> 00:01:46,940 Well, my contrabassoon was marijuana. 23 00:01:48,233 --> 00:01:52,570 I knew from the minute I started smoking it that I was born to do this. 24 00:01:54,531 --> 00:01:55,907 And that I would do this. 25 00:01:56,533 --> 00:01:59,410 [stutters] Okay, [chuckling] that's not a carrot, Winston. 26 00:01:59,494 --> 00:02:00,495 Ah. 27 00:02:05,041 --> 00:02:07,377 Holy shit, it's Angelo DeStevens! 28 00:02:08,378 --> 00:02:11,798 -So, you know who I am? -Are you kidding? I smoked your book. 29 00:02:13,341 --> 00:02:15,677 [Trixie Smith's "Jack, I'm Mellow" playing] 30 00:02:18,054 --> 00:02:18,972 ♪ I'm so high... ♪ 31 00:02:21,057 --> 00:02:22,517 ♪ Jack, I'm mellow ♪ 32 00:02:25,103 --> 00:02:26,729 Angelo, this is such an honor. 33 00:02:27,188 --> 00:02:30,275 I've been following your career since you had one braid. 34 00:02:30,358 --> 00:02:31,192 No, no, no. 35 00:02:31,651 --> 00:02:33,570 No, no. I am the one who's honored. 36 00:02:33,820 --> 00:02:35,363 By Olivia's Shitballs. 37 00:02:36,781 --> 00:02:41,202 The brilliant combination of delicious edible marijuana and poo-poo humor. 38 00:02:42,162 --> 00:02:42,996 Bravo. 39 00:02:43,538 --> 00:02:46,082 Well, I'm just glad you like them. 40 00:02:46,166 --> 00:02:50,044 -Seriously, I'm at a loss for words. -Well, let me help you find them. 41 00:02:50,545 --> 00:02:52,672 Innovative. Transformative. 42 00:02:53,464 --> 00:02:54,299 Lucrative. 43 00:02:54,757 --> 00:02:56,342 You. Me. 44 00:02:56,926 --> 00:02:59,596 Meeting. Office. Noon. 45 00:02:59,846 --> 00:03:03,975 Today. Six. Thousand. Sunset. 46 00:03:04,058 --> 00:03:07,312 The rest of the words are on this card I found in your ear! 47 00:03:07,395 --> 00:03:10,023 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! He does magic, too! 48 00:03:10,106 --> 00:03:11,232 [laughing] 49 00:03:16,112 --> 00:03:19,532 I walked in the bedroom and I said, Jim, you're cheating on me. 50 00:03:19,616 --> 00:03:23,912 At first, he tried to deny it, but I could see Rosita hiding underneath him. 51 00:03:28,917 --> 00:03:31,461 Oh, my God, Maria, I am so sorry. 52 00:03:31,711 --> 00:03:33,254 Where did you guys leave it? 53 00:03:33,838 --> 00:03:35,006 We're taking a break. 54 00:03:35,089 --> 00:03:36,633 I'm at home with the kids, 55 00:03:36,883 --> 00:03:39,969 and he's at the apartment downtown I didn't know he had. 56 00:03:42,180 --> 00:03:45,391 It's just a bed and a sex swing. I mean, where do they eat? 57 00:03:48,603 --> 00:03:49,562 Uh... 58 00:03:50,605 --> 00:03:52,982 Ruth, there's a Walter here for you. 59 00:03:53,566 --> 00:03:57,362 Walter? The guy from the other night? Your cute new boyfriend? 60 00:03:57,445 --> 00:04:00,573 -Wait, boyfriend? -No. No, he's a patient. 61 00:04:00,657 --> 00:04:03,493 -He's here to buy pot. -Not from me, apparently. 62 00:04:04,202 --> 00:04:06,120 Tell Walter I'll be right out. 63 00:04:06,871 --> 00:04:07,789 Go get him, Ruth. 64 00:04:08,081 --> 00:04:10,667 Don't let love die on me twice this week. Okay? 65 00:04:11,209 --> 00:04:13,544 Yeah, no, seriously, I need this. 66 00:04:15,046 --> 00:04:16,923 Okay. Now you can go. Go. 67 00:04:22,428 --> 00:04:24,764 -Hello there. -Hello, Ruth. 68 00:04:24,931 --> 00:04:25,848 [Ruth] How's it going? 69 00:04:26,474 --> 00:04:29,352 Wait, is this Old Walter or Fun Wally? 70 00:04:29,435 --> 00:04:30,436 You tell me. 71 00:04:31,104 --> 00:04:31,938 Uggs. 72 00:04:38,987 --> 00:04:41,030 You, sir, are living on the edge. 73 00:04:41,614 --> 00:04:43,574 -I'm reckless and wild. -[Ruth chuckles] 74 00:04:43,658 --> 00:04:46,577 And the best part is my feet are drenched in sweat. 75 00:04:46,661 --> 00:04:47,704 [Ruth chuckles] 76 00:04:48,329 --> 00:04:51,666 -So, what can I do for you? -Ruth, this morning, I woke up, 77 00:04:51,749 --> 00:04:55,670 and for the first time in my life, I was out of marijuana. 78 00:04:57,630 --> 00:05:02,427 You're never out of marijuana. You're between marijuanas. Jenny? 79 00:05:02,510 --> 00:05:05,513 -Yes. How can I help? -Can we both help? I wanna help. 80 00:05:06,639 --> 00:05:09,142 Uh, could you get Walter an eighth of Hindu Kush? 81 00:05:09,225 --> 00:05:13,980 Look at me, walking around in my Uggs with an eighth of Hindu Kush. 82 00:05:15,648 --> 00:05:17,317 I feel like Burt Reynolds. 83 00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:18,818 [laughing] 84 00:05:21,070 --> 00:05:24,324 So, what other adventures have you got on your agenda today? 85 00:05:25,158 --> 00:05:29,912 Well, I know this is gonna sound funny, but I might go try sushi. 86 00:05:29,996 --> 00:05:31,998 Oh, my God. You never had sushi? 87 00:05:32,081 --> 00:05:34,292 I've eaten tuna straight out of the can. 88 00:05:36,002 --> 00:05:38,254 But I've been told that doesn't count. 89 00:05:39,672 --> 00:05:44,969 Well, uh, I know my way around a sushi bar. If you'd like, I could-- 90 00:05:45,053 --> 00:05:46,763 -You wouldn't mind? -[chuckles] 91 00:05:48,056 --> 00:05:49,182 It's happening! 92 00:05:56,814 --> 00:05:59,442 That's right, dopers, Tae Kwon Douglas is back. 93 00:06:02,695 --> 00:06:06,324 Whoa, what are you doing, little girl? Writing in your diary? [chuckles] 94 00:06:07,992 --> 00:06:09,994 Take care of that key. I lost mine. 95 00:06:11,204 --> 00:06:13,873 Yeah. I was working on material for my stand-up. 96 00:06:13,956 --> 00:06:15,666 Oh, yeah. [yells] 97 00:06:18,127 --> 00:06:20,963 -What's up with the leg? -What's up with your face? 98 00:06:23,091 --> 00:06:23,966 You're limping. 99 00:06:24,050 --> 00:06:27,762 That's because I was severely injured by your co-worker, Pete, 100 00:06:27,845 --> 00:06:31,099 who booby-trapped our campsite with a giant ball of death. 101 00:06:31,182 --> 00:06:35,311 Luckily, I was able to absorb the blow with my upper thigh and rear glute. 102 00:06:36,521 --> 00:06:39,440 It's the body's biggest muscle, according to WebMD. 103 00:06:40,983 --> 00:06:43,653 You know, maybe I should keep my notebook handy. 104 00:06:45,279 --> 00:06:49,450 No, I'm here to inform you all that I hereby claim a parking space 105 00:06:49,534 --> 00:06:52,620 to be reserved solely for customers of Intensity Plus. 106 00:06:53,579 --> 00:06:54,997 Doug, you can't do that. 107 00:06:55,581 --> 00:06:56,415 Oh, really? 108 00:06:56,791 --> 00:06:57,917 Pete and what army? 109 00:06:58,000 --> 00:06:59,585 [laughing] 110 00:06:59,669 --> 00:07:03,798 That's funny to you? Why don't you write this down in your funny book? 111 00:07:03,881 --> 00:07:07,635 "Dear Diary, Doug's cool, and I'm not." Yeah. 112 00:07:10,805 --> 00:07:16,936 And with that, I bid you a not-so-fond yeoboseyo! God. 113 00:07:17,019 --> 00:07:18,521 -Yobo-say-what, Doug? -No. 114 00:07:19,355 --> 00:07:20,690 Oh, that shit's funny. 115 00:07:29,115 --> 00:07:30,032 Greg. 116 00:07:30,700 --> 00:07:32,076 You're home. 117 00:07:32,660 --> 00:07:34,162 I couldn't miss Christmas. 118 00:07:34,245 --> 00:07:35,997 [Grandma chuckling] 119 00:07:36,080 --> 00:07:37,874 No one else is up yet. 120 00:07:37,957 --> 00:07:39,459 I know how to get them up. 121 00:07:45,256 --> 00:07:46,799 Is that Tokelers? 122 00:07:47,091 --> 00:07:47,925 Oh. 123 00:07:58,352 --> 00:07:59,395 Ah. 124 00:08:00,563 --> 00:08:02,690 Mm. 125 00:08:12,783 --> 00:08:13,701 Greg. 126 00:08:14,410 --> 00:08:15,620 Merry Christmas, Mom. 127 00:08:23,794 --> 00:08:25,046 [Grandma coughing] 128 00:08:29,717 --> 00:08:31,802 [sighing] 129 00:08:32,386 --> 00:08:33,429 [all laughing] 130 00:08:33,512 --> 00:08:36,307 ♪ The best way to wake and bake ♪ 131 00:08:40,144 --> 00:08:41,270 [announcer] Tokelers. 132 00:08:42,730 --> 00:08:45,942 So... let's talk Shitballs. 133 00:08:47,235 --> 00:08:50,071 Yes, let's spitball about Shitballs. 134 00:08:51,322 --> 00:08:52,615 I am stealing that. 135 00:08:54,867 --> 00:08:57,745 Olivia, Travis, I'm gonna be blunt. 136 00:08:58,329 --> 00:09:01,040 When I think of the future of Olivia's Shitballs, 137 00:09:01,666 --> 00:09:03,584 I get a raging mind-boner. 138 00:09:04,794 --> 00:09:07,463 Then I'm glad you're wearing that hat. [chuckles] 139 00:09:07,922 --> 00:09:08,756 Behold. 140 00:09:09,549 --> 00:09:11,384 The next step in our adventure. 141 00:09:18,266 --> 00:09:21,060 Might take a little while. In hindsight, 142 00:09:21,143 --> 00:09:23,646 I should have pressed the button a minute ago. [laughs] 143 00:09:23,729 --> 00:09:26,607 My brother-in-law Paul did some work on it, so... 144 00:09:26,691 --> 00:09:28,734 Oh, it used to come up real fast. 145 00:09:28,818 --> 00:09:31,988 I'm gonna talk to Paul. He probably pocketed some of the dough 146 00:09:32,071 --> 00:09:34,865 and bought a cheap motor for it. [chuckles] So... 147 00:09:35,616 --> 00:09:37,201 Oh, here we go. Okay, good. 148 00:09:38,494 --> 00:09:41,581 Behold, the next step of our adventure. 149 00:09:42,373 --> 00:09:46,294 Ah. It's the wrong input. Here we go. No, I got it. 150 00:09:47,628 --> 00:09:51,215 The lettering is so small. Here we go. Now, how do you get over? 151 00:09:51,799 --> 00:09:55,970 Oh, here we go. Got it. Got it. Got it. Hold on. Got it. Got it. 152 00:09:56,345 --> 00:09:57,680 Got it. Got it. 153 00:09:57,763 --> 00:09:59,098 [Angelo chuckles, then inhales] 154 00:10:00,057 --> 00:10:02,310 Behold, the next step to our adventure. 155 00:10:03,269 --> 00:10:06,022 Olivia, we all know that Shitballs are number two. 156 00:10:08,399 --> 00:10:09,942 But what's number one? 157 00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:12,069 Olivia's Pee Jar. 158 00:10:15,239 --> 00:10:16,324 Oh, God. 159 00:10:16,407 --> 00:10:18,909 Cannabis-infused lemonade packaged as urine. 160 00:10:19,577 --> 00:10:21,203 -It sells itself. -[Angelo] Yes. 161 00:10:21,787 --> 00:10:24,624 Yes, it does sell itself, but to maximize profits, 162 00:10:25,207 --> 00:10:26,709 I propose that we sell it. 163 00:10:27,793 --> 00:10:30,796 Oh, Olivia, you have something hanging from your nose. 164 00:10:31,339 --> 00:10:34,717 Could that possibly be Olivia's Gummi Boogers? 165 00:10:37,970 --> 00:10:39,138 That's snot bad. 166 00:10:39,221 --> 00:10:40,264 [Travis and Angelo laughing] 167 00:10:40,890 --> 00:10:42,141 This guy gets it. 168 00:10:42,224 --> 00:10:44,727 Okay, guys, I'm getting a little nauseous. 169 00:10:44,810 --> 00:10:48,481 Funny you should mention that. Olivia's Chunky Vomit. 170 00:10:50,566 --> 00:10:52,234 Cannabis pasta sauce? 171 00:10:52,818 --> 00:10:56,989 I can't think of a single person on the planet who wouldn't buy that. 172 00:10:58,282 --> 00:11:03,204 Olivia, with my access to $5 million in capital and your brand and... 173 00:11:05,706 --> 00:11:07,458 -Travis... -[laughs] 174 00:11:10,836 --> 00:11:15,424 the only limit to this dream is what your body can secrete. 175 00:11:17,593 --> 00:11:19,678 -Please tell me we've hit that limit. -[Angelo chuckles] 176 00:11:19,762 --> 00:11:22,515 No, no, no. We're just getting started. Behold! 177 00:11:23,099 --> 00:11:25,393 Oh, no, no, no! Goddamn it, Paul! 178 00:11:27,812 --> 00:11:28,646 Thanks. 179 00:11:30,147 --> 00:11:32,191 This is not some kind of food, right? 180 00:11:33,192 --> 00:11:35,069 It's not some kind of rice towel? 181 00:11:35,611 --> 00:11:37,655 No. I'm so tempted to say yes. 182 00:11:38,697 --> 00:11:41,700 California roll, sushi plate, and a seaweed salad. 183 00:11:42,243 --> 00:11:43,244 [speaking in Japanese] 184 00:11:45,329 --> 00:11:49,083 I get the towel now. It's to spit this stuff into. 185 00:11:51,710 --> 00:11:54,380 All right. Easy. Start with the California Roll. 186 00:11:54,463 --> 00:11:56,924 No, if I'm gonna do this, let's do this. 187 00:11:57,466 --> 00:12:03,848 I will try this one that looks like caramel ice cream. 188 00:12:17,445 --> 00:12:19,530 This is not caramel ice cream. 189 00:12:20,573 --> 00:12:21,699 No, it's sea urchin. 190 00:12:22,324 --> 00:12:24,743 Technically, it's the sea urchin's gonads. 191 00:12:26,996 --> 00:12:29,457 So, he's as unhappy about this as I am. 192 00:12:29,540 --> 00:12:31,375 [laughing] 193 00:12:32,710 --> 00:12:35,171 Would this be better if I were high? 194 00:12:35,296 --> 00:12:36,338 You're not high? 195 00:12:36,922 --> 00:12:38,883 Oh, I've got so much to teach you. 196 00:12:42,636 --> 00:12:44,763 Are you ready to do something crazy? 197 00:12:45,347 --> 00:12:47,766 I just gargled a sea urchin's nuts. 198 00:12:49,393 --> 00:12:51,562 -I think I'm ready to try anything. -[Ruth laughs] 199 00:13:11,207 --> 00:13:13,667 Oh, what's up, YouTube? 200 00:13:13,751 --> 00:13:17,296 Our 30 days of house arrest are finally over. 201 00:13:17,379 --> 00:13:19,131 Hell, yeah. [chuckles] 202 00:13:19,673 --> 00:13:20,508 [Dabby chuckles] 203 00:13:20,591 --> 00:13:24,386 I feel like Nelson Mandela when he broke out of Shawshank Redemption. 204 00:13:25,012 --> 00:13:28,849 Yeah, we needed to go out and do our favorite things that we missed. 205 00:13:28,933 --> 00:13:32,811 For instance, I went to Color Me Mine, and I made this mug for Dank. 206 00:13:36,982 --> 00:13:39,652 You know it's true because it's on a mug. 207 00:13:39,735 --> 00:13:40,611 [both laughing] 208 00:13:40,694 --> 00:13:44,823 We're also catching up on advances in the marijuana industry. 209 00:13:44,907 --> 00:13:47,826 That's why we're here at Ruth's Alternative Caring. 210 00:13:48,160 --> 00:13:49,495 You see this invention? 211 00:13:50,120 --> 00:13:52,498 Pete is the technological genius 212 00:13:52,748 --> 00:13:54,542 -that bought it. -[Pete laughs] 213 00:13:54,625 --> 00:13:56,502 This is the BioWave Mini. 214 00:13:57,211 --> 00:13:59,296 -Oh! Cool. -Oh, shit, it glows. 215 00:13:59,380 --> 00:14:01,966 Yeah. Now, it helps cannabis plants grow 216 00:14:02,049 --> 00:14:06,303 by generating subsonic harmonic waves that increase plant respiration. 217 00:14:06,637 --> 00:14:10,599 These green status lights tell us that the BioWave is working properly. 218 00:14:10,683 --> 00:14:12,726 Oh, my God. Can you believe it? 219 00:14:13,561 --> 00:14:16,772 In 30 days, the whole world changed. 220 00:14:17,856 --> 00:14:21,068 I mean, robots are growing weed now. 221 00:14:22,194 --> 00:14:24,989 Yeah, and the president's a man. 222 00:14:25,906 --> 00:14:29,159 It's a part of my new scientific approach to growing weed. 223 00:14:29,577 --> 00:14:33,622 In the past, I got a little too emotionally attached to my plants, 224 00:14:34,039 --> 00:14:36,500 and even gave them little girls' names and talked to them, 225 00:14:36,584 --> 00:14:38,544 which made it harder to... 226 00:14:39,920 --> 00:14:41,463 murder them in the woods. 227 00:14:48,304 --> 00:14:50,264 That's fucked up. Uh, can I touch it? 228 00:14:50,472 --> 00:14:52,433 No, it's a very delicate piece of equipment. 229 00:14:52,516 --> 00:14:54,518 Whoa! 230 00:14:54,602 --> 00:14:56,937 Oh, I can see the future, Dank! 231 00:14:57,479 --> 00:14:58,439 What do you see? 232 00:14:58,522 --> 00:15:02,443 -Shamrock Shakes are made of people! -Oh! 233 00:15:06,572 --> 00:15:07,823 [grunting] 234 00:15:07,906 --> 00:15:08,741 Okay. 235 00:15:10,868 --> 00:15:12,911 Doug, that was highly entertaining. 236 00:15:14,496 --> 00:15:17,166 Under the legal principle of Eminent Dojang, 237 00:15:17,708 --> 00:15:19,460 this parking spot is now mine. 238 00:15:19,543 --> 00:15:22,921 My students deserve a clear visual of my storefront. 239 00:15:23,505 --> 00:15:24,965 [laughing] 240 00:15:26,800 --> 00:15:29,637 Shut up. That's not really there. 241 00:15:32,765 --> 00:15:35,517 Please, God, tell me you mean the beanbag game. 242 00:15:35,935 --> 00:15:38,687 Duh. What else does cornhole mean? 243 00:15:40,064 --> 00:15:40,981 Well, it means... 244 00:15:42,358 --> 00:15:43,192 Nothing. 245 00:15:44,526 --> 00:15:49,198 I use this game to teach my students focus, balance and sack-handling. 246 00:15:50,866 --> 00:15:53,994 -When I was overseas, we played cornhole. -Oh, did you? 247 00:15:54,078 --> 00:15:57,831 Oh, yeah. All the guys in my platoon called me The Sniper. 248 00:15:58,248 --> 00:16:01,168 Except for the sniper. He called me... Carter. 249 00:16:02,169 --> 00:16:05,214 Well, the kids I play with call me Captain Cornhole. 250 00:16:05,798 --> 00:16:09,593 It spread to a couple of the dads, and now it's a popular nickname. 251 00:16:09,677 --> 00:16:14,973 Mm-hm. Well, you know, why don't we settle this parking spot bullshit with a game? 252 00:16:15,057 --> 00:16:16,600 Oh, yes. 253 00:16:17,226 --> 00:16:18,394 Yes, indeed. 254 00:16:18,978 --> 00:16:23,399 You and I are gonna cornhole out here in this parking lot for everyone to see. 255 00:16:26,318 --> 00:16:29,154 -Let's do this. -I'll go grab my sacks. 256 00:16:29,238 --> 00:16:30,489 [Carter laughs] 257 00:16:35,494 --> 00:16:38,247 Hey. How's the BioWave working? 258 00:16:38,330 --> 00:16:42,459 It's amazing. Their root system is thriving. 259 00:16:42,543 --> 00:16:44,962 The moisture intake has increased 19 percent. 260 00:16:45,045 --> 00:16:49,967 And also, I have a better appetite and thicker, bouncier hair. 261 00:16:56,265 --> 00:16:59,351 You know, I seriously wish I had your sense of purpose. 262 00:16:59,852 --> 00:17:02,312 -And your volume. -[chuckles] Yeah. 263 00:17:02,521 --> 00:17:05,482 I've just always known marijuana is my calling. 264 00:17:06,150 --> 00:17:07,276 It helps people. 265 00:17:07,985 --> 00:17:08,902 Heals people. 266 00:17:10,029 --> 00:17:11,739 We're lucky to be part of it. 267 00:17:13,782 --> 00:17:18,037 [in Chinese] Ooh! My name is Jenny. Come see where I work. 268 00:17:18,120 --> 00:17:21,540 -Isn't it cool? These are my coworkers. -[laughing] 269 00:17:21,623 --> 00:17:24,042 Together we help people be the happiest ever! 270 00:17:24,668 --> 00:17:28,756 I'm a helper. My wish is to heal the sick. 271 00:17:28,839 --> 00:17:33,135 So, my parents decided I should be a doctor. 272 00:17:33,260 --> 00:17:36,180 It made me unhappy. 273 00:17:36,263 --> 00:17:37,181 [screaming] 274 00:17:37,264 --> 00:17:38,223 [sobbing] 275 00:17:38,307 --> 00:17:41,643 I wanted to help another way. All those patients I cannot save. 276 00:17:41,727 --> 00:17:43,145 -Take one of these. -[gasps] 277 00:17:43,228 --> 00:17:44,730 [laughing] 278 00:17:44,813 --> 00:17:47,441 [Jenny] The magic cure is weed. 279 00:17:48,525 --> 00:17:49,610 Thank you very much! 280 00:17:51,361 --> 00:17:52,988 [moaning] 281 00:17:53,072 --> 00:17:54,031 [screaming] 282 00:17:55,824 --> 00:17:57,284 [panting] 283 00:17:57,367 --> 00:17:58,827 [gasps] 284 00:17:58,911 --> 00:17:59,787 Ah! 285 00:17:59,870 --> 00:18:01,246 Do you need any help? 286 00:18:02,081 --> 00:18:03,165 [moaning] 287 00:18:03,290 --> 00:18:05,542 [whimpering] 288 00:18:05,626 --> 00:18:08,504 [moaning] 289 00:18:08,587 --> 00:18:10,214 [screams] 290 00:18:10,297 --> 00:18:12,549 This can't be. Ghosts don't exist. 291 00:18:12,633 --> 00:18:15,469 [ghosts moaning] 292 00:18:16,470 --> 00:18:21,100 I failed you before. How can I save you now? 293 00:18:21,183 --> 00:18:22,518 [crying] 294 00:18:24,812 --> 00:18:27,106 The magic cure is weed. 295 00:18:27,648 --> 00:18:32,110 Weed Healing Medication! 296 00:18:32,694 --> 00:18:33,529 [Jenny laughs] 297 00:18:34,863 --> 00:18:35,697 Refreshing! 298 00:18:36,532 --> 00:18:37,616 [laughs] 299 00:18:38,408 --> 00:18:39,243 [sighs] 300 00:18:39,827 --> 00:18:42,579 Thanks, Pete. I think I just had an epiphany. 301 00:18:42,663 --> 00:18:46,708 Was it that your hair would have volume if you stopped wearing hats? 302 00:18:47,084 --> 00:18:49,711 Thanks, Pete. I think I just had two epiphanies. 303 00:18:49,795 --> 00:18:51,171 [both laughing] 304 00:18:57,553 --> 00:18:59,513 Stoners are already eating my poop. 305 00:19:01,098 --> 00:19:03,725 Now they'll eat every gross thing that comes out of me? 306 00:19:03,809 --> 00:19:07,146 How long before Angelo does Olivia's Breast Milk? 307 00:19:07,521 --> 00:19:09,022 Third quarter, 2021. 308 00:19:12,526 --> 00:19:15,654 Come on, this is like a dream come true for me. 309 00:19:15,737 --> 00:19:18,240 I had a poster of Angelo DeStevens on my dorm wall. 310 00:19:18,740 --> 00:19:20,242 Did girls like that poster? 311 00:19:20,325 --> 00:19:23,203 Had they come to my room, they would have. 312 00:19:25,831 --> 00:19:27,124 I don't know. I mean-- 313 00:19:27,958 --> 00:19:31,670 What do I tell some little girl who comes up to me and says: 314 00:19:31,962 --> 00:19:34,423 "Ew, aren't you that lady who makes pot vomit?" 315 00:19:36,425 --> 00:19:40,512 You know what you say? You say, "Yes, little girl, I am. 316 00:19:41,597 --> 00:19:46,268 I'm a proud woman, who is not ashamed of my body and what it produces. 317 00:19:46,768 --> 00:19:50,772 All right? Real women pee, poop, puke, have boogers, all right? 318 00:19:50,856 --> 00:19:52,691 And it's all beautiful. 319 00:19:54,610 --> 00:19:57,654 Especially when it has pot in it, all right? 320 00:19:58,155 --> 00:20:01,575 And one day, little girl, if you work hard enough, 321 00:20:01,658 --> 00:20:04,453 that's gonna be your face on that jar of urine. 322 00:20:07,247 --> 00:20:08,707 And when that day comes... 323 00:20:10,709 --> 00:20:13,629 I hope you remember who broke that glass ceiling... 324 00:20:14,504 --> 00:20:17,424 and who took a dump on the right side of history." 325 00:20:19,301 --> 00:20:23,013 It says here we get 200K up front. Is that true? 326 00:20:23,096 --> 00:20:25,057 It is, little girl, it is. 327 00:20:27,100 --> 00:20:29,895 Why didn't you fucking say so? I'm in. 328 00:20:29,978 --> 00:20:31,021 [laughing] 329 00:20:31,104 --> 00:20:32,314 -Shit, yes! -Yeah! 330 00:20:34,733 --> 00:20:36,735 Can we do this already? 331 00:20:37,277 --> 00:20:39,821 [sighs] Maybe to a jointhead like you, 332 00:20:39,905 --> 00:20:41,448 the rules don't matter. 333 00:20:41,531 --> 00:20:43,992 But I like to cornhole the right way. 334 00:20:44,618 --> 00:20:47,454 That's what I'm talking about. He has no idea. 335 00:20:48,246 --> 00:20:49,790 How is that possible? 336 00:20:51,500 --> 00:20:54,920 Wow, Doug, your cornhole looks so shiny. 337 00:20:57,589 --> 00:21:00,050 Well, thank you. I just had it waxed. 338 00:21:00,884 --> 00:21:03,095 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 339 00:21:04,137 --> 00:21:06,974 Are we about to do what I think we're about to do? 340 00:21:07,057 --> 00:21:09,434 We're gonna blaze it up in the bathroom. 341 00:21:13,355 --> 00:21:16,525 There were kids in high school who did things like this. 342 00:21:16,608 --> 00:21:19,861 I wasn't one of them. I was the one who told on them. 343 00:21:21,655 --> 00:21:22,739 You were a narc? 344 00:21:24,199 --> 00:21:25,158 Walter was. 345 00:21:25,242 --> 00:21:27,828 Wally's gonna get high in the crapper. 346 00:21:29,913 --> 00:21:31,707 -[knock on door] -[man] What are you two doing in there? 347 00:21:31,790 --> 00:21:33,834 Uh, it was her idea. 348 00:21:35,127 --> 00:21:36,169 Sorry, old habit. 349 00:21:41,758 --> 00:21:45,053 Hey, guys. I'm really excited about our Strain O' the Day. 350 00:21:45,137 --> 00:21:46,888 It's called Emperor Shennong. 351 00:21:46,972 --> 00:21:49,975 Named for the first man to prescribe cannabis as medicine. 352 00:21:50,058 --> 00:21:51,977 -On sale this week for-- -Hold on. 353 00:21:53,603 --> 00:21:57,149 To appreciate the strain, you need to understand the history 354 00:21:57,232 --> 00:21:59,276 of medicinal cannabis in China. 355 00:22:01,236 --> 00:22:02,070 Okay. 356 00:22:03,155 --> 00:22:07,242 The year, 2700 B.C.E., the eastern border of the Shanxi province. 357 00:22:07,326 --> 00:22:08,160 Oh, shit. 358 00:22:08,452 --> 00:22:12,289 Emperor Shennong, wearing a cloak made of herbs he used as medicine, 359 00:22:12,998 --> 00:22:15,917 wrote the earliest Chinese pharmacopoeia, in which cannabis-- 360 00:22:16,001 --> 00:22:17,336 Can we skip ahead? 361 00:22:17,419 --> 00:22:21,965 You wanna skip over thousands of years of Chinese history? Check your privilege. 362 00:22:24,259 --> 00:22:27,429 Scientists discovered an ancient tomb in the Gobi Desert 363 00:22:27,512 --> 00:22:30,557 that contained a man buried with two pounds of cannabis 364 00:22:30,640 --> 00:22:32,059 for use in the afterlife. 365 00:22:32,142 --> 00:22:34,478 Unfortunately, he wasn't buried with a lighter. 366 00:22:34,561 --> 00:22:35,604 [laughing] 367 00:22:37,564 --> 00:22:39,107 That's not funny, Travis. 368 00:22:39,191 --> 00:22:42,736 I finally realize I'm not betraying my culture by working here. 369 00:22:42,819 --> 00:22:43,987 I'm embracing it. 370 00:22:44,446 --> 00:22:46,823 Mom, I am gonna be a doctor. 371 00:22:48,325 --> 00:22:50,410 Just kidding. She'll never see this. 372 00:22:52,204 --> 00:22:54,039 Seriously, no one show her this. 373 00:22:54,623 --> 00:22:56,291 Cut. Cut it. 374 00:22:56,708 --> 00:22:57,834 Oh, God. 375 00:23:04,174 --> 00:23:05,258 To our adventure. 376 00:23:06,551 --> 00:23:09,346 [chuckles] Next time, we toast with Olivia's Pee Jar. 377 00:23:09,429 --> 00:23:11,014 [Travis chuckling] 378 00:23:11,098 --> 00:23:13,225 Olivia, urine the money. 379 00:23:13,517 --> 00:23:14,768 [Angelo laughing] 380 00:23:15,852 --> 00:23:19,397 -This guy is too much. -[Travis laughing] 381 00:23:19,981 --> 00:23:21,274 [cell phone ringing] 382 00:23:21,358 --> 00:23:24,361 Sorry. That's probably an important business call. 383 00:23:24,444 --> 00:23:25,737 Just excuse me. [clears throat] 384 00:23:25,821 --> 00:23:26,863 Go for Travis. 385 00:23:28,990 --> 00:23:31,409 That's my assistant on the phone with Travis. 386 00:23:31,493 --> 00:23:34,621 She'll tell him he won a weekend at the Orlando Sheraton 387 00:23:34,704 --> 00:23:37,791 as long as he attends a 45-minute real estate seminar. 388 00:23:37,874 --> 00:23:39,167 How did he win that? 389 00:23:39,501 --> 00:23:43,672 No, no, no. It's a ruse. Uh, I just wanted to talk to you alone. 390 00:23:43,755 --> 00:23:46,508 Uh, we hit a little bit of a snag with our deal. 391 00:23:46,883 --> 00:23:50,679 The problem is my money people. You know how they are. 392 00:23:50,762 --> 00:23:54,683 Uh, they crunched the numbers, and they would really like to crunch 393 00:23:54,766 --> 00:23:56,852 the three of us into the two of us. 394 00:23:58,728 --> 00:24:02,274 -Are you saying we cut out Travis? -[chuckles] Yeah. We don't need Travis. 395 00:24:02,524 --> 00:24:04,860 Is a direct quote from the money people. 396 00:24:06,778 --> 00:24:10,365 -I can't do that to him. -I told them you'd say that. They said, 397 00:24:10,448 --> 00:24:12,951 "Tell her she'll make more money without him." 398 00:24:13,034 --> 00:24:14,995 And I said, "She won't do that." 399 00:24:15,078 --> 00:24:18,290 They said, "If he was a real friend, he would understand." 400 00:24:18,373 --> 00:24:21,710 And I was like, "I don't know," they said, "Just ask her." 401 00:24:22,878 --> 00:24:25,964 It's not me. It's the money people. You know them. 402 00:24:26,047 --> 00:24:30,093 -They sound like they're dicks. -They are the worst. They're the worst. 403 00:24:30,177 --> 00:24:33,346 So, say the word, Travis is history, and we make millions. 404 00:24:33,430 --> 00:24:35,932 Or kill the deal and keep your stupid friend 405 00:24:36,016 --> 00:24:38,476 who, if he makes one more terrible pun, 406 00:24:38,560 --> 00:24:42,606 I, Angelo DeStevens, am gonna beat him to death with my contrabassoon. 407 00:24:42,689 --> 00:24:44,941 Again, that's the money people talking. 408 00:24:46,818 --> 00:24:47,652 [Travis] Guys! 409 00:24:49,154 --> 00:24:50,572 I'm going to Orlando! 410 00:24:50,655 --> 00:24:52,282 [laughing] 411 00:24:52,365 --> 00:24:53,867 When it rains, it pours. 412 00:24:57,954 --> 00:24:58,788 [grunts] 413 00:25:00,165 --> 00:25:02,709 Jesus, Miyagi and Joseph, another rim job. 414 00:25:04,669 --> 00:25:05,503 Come on, honey! 415 00:25:05,587 --> 00:25:07,422 [chanting] Carter, Carter, rally starter! 416 00:25:07,589 --> 00:25:08,715 Oh, sweetie. 417 00:25:09,090 --> 00:25:11,801 Watch how a four-year all-county champion does it. 418 00:25:12,219 --> 00:25:13,762 Ready? Okay! 419 00:25:14,221 --> 00:25:15,972 [chanting] Carter, Carter, throw that sack! 420 00:25:16,056 --> 00:25:17,849 He served our country in Iraq! 421 00:25:17,933 --> 00:25:19,392 Hey, ho! 422 00:25:19,476 --> 00:25:21,144 Go, Bulldogs! Go, Bulldogs! 423 00:25:21,228 --> 00:25:24,314 Go, Bulldogs! Yeah! 424 00:25:24,397 --> 00:25:26,024 Yeah! Yeah! 425 00:25:26,608 --> 00:25:27,609 [groaning] 426 00:25:36,117 --> 00:25:37,994 And boom goes the dynamite. 427 00:25:38,078 --> 00:25:40,038 -[laughs] We are tied at 20. -[Jenny] Yes. 428 00:25:40,121 --> 00:25:42,666 -Next point wins, baby. -Yeah. Yeah-- [groans] 429 00:25:42,749 --> 00:25:44,876 Hey, you okay? We can take a break, Doug. 430 00:25:44,960 --> 00:25:47,212 You don't care that I'm hurt, Pete-- 431 00:25:47,295 --> 00:25:49,547 I-- Pizza face. 432 00:25:51,049 --> 00:25:53,176 Hey, you guys, how was the sushi? 433 00:25:53,260 --> 00:25:55,553 They kicked us out, so we got Taco Bell. 434 00:25:56,888 --> 00:25:58,682 Another thing I've never done. 435 00:25:58,765 --> 00:26:01,559 We got six pounds of food for four bucks! 436 00:26:01,643 --> 00:26:02,519 [laughing] 437 00:26:03,103 --> 00:26:03,937 I love them. 438 00:26:04,229 --> 00:26:05,897 I love the way-- Okay. Right. 439 00:26:06,439 --> 00:26:08,566 [chanting] Ruth and Walter, they're our couple. 440 00:26:08,650 --> 00:26:11,111 If they can't make it, we're all in trouble. 441 00:26:17,492 --> 00:26:20,245 Whoo! Whoo. 442 00:26:20,328 --> 00:26:24,040 You gotta swish this or give up the parking spot. 443 00:26:24,124 --> 00:26:25,041 [groans] 444 00:26:25,750 --> 00:26:28,044 Jesus, you're bleeding. Are you okay? 445 00:26:28,128 --> 00:26:33,216 I'm fine! Blood is just the body's way of saying you have an open wound. 446 00:26:34,968 --> 00:26:36,094 [yells] 447 00:26:37,095 --> 00:26:38,513 -Hey, man, look-- -No! 448 00:26:40,515 --> 00:26:41,641 [Tae Kwon Doug groaning] 449 00:26:50,317 --> 00:26:52,068 [Tae Kwon Doug exhales deeply] 450 00:26:56,614 --> 00:26:58,700 Intensity. 451 00:27:03,705 --> 00:27:04,956 Plus. 452 00:27:21,306 --> 00:27:23,433 [speaks in Korean] 453 00:27:23,725 --> 00:27:25,018 [laughs] 454 00:27:33,735 --> 00:27:35,195 [laughing] 455 00:27:52,128 --> 00:27:53,671 [yelling] 456 00:27:55,715 --> 00:27:56,674 Good game, Doug. 457 00:27:57,384 --> 00:27:58,218 Thank you. 458 00:27:58,718 --> 00:28:02,514 Listen, if I pass out, make sure no one plays with my cornhole. 459 00:28:04,516 --> 00:28:05,809 God, I love you, man. 460 00:28:07,268 --> 00:28:10,021 Easy, Carter, I like girls. 461 00:28:11,606 --> 00:28:12,440 Yeah. 462 00:28:12,524 --> 00:28:13,900 [laughing] 463 00:28:15,151 --> 00:28:18,113 That was the best terrible food I've ever had. 464 00:28:19,864 --> 00:28:22,492 That one thing was somehow soft and crunchy. 465 00:28:24,369 --> 00:28:26,287 That's 'cause you ate part of the box. 466 00:28:26,371 --> 00:28:28,498 [laughing] 467 00:28:28,581 --> 00:28:29,833 This was fun. 468 00:28:30,458 --> 00:28:32,877 But I better go home and pump out my Uggs. 469 00:28:35,964 --> 00:28:40,009 -I'll talk to you soon. -Well, you know where to find me. 470 00:28:47,392 --> 00:28:50,145 -Oh, God, tell us everything! -How was the date? 471 00:28:50,228 --> 00:28:52,522 -Did he hold your hand? -Promise to be your soul mate 472 00:28:52,605 --> 00:28:55,066 then leave you for a hot Guatemalan gymnast? 473 00:28:56,025 --> 00:28:57,944 Or are you not at that stage yet? 474 00:28:58,987 --> 00:29:01,906 No, no, no. It wasn't a date. We're just friends. 475 00:29:01,990 --> 00:29:05,452 Besides, I don't think Walter wants anything more than that. 476 00:29:07,203 --> 00:29:09,164 Oh, hey. Did you forget something? 477 00:29:11,708 --> 00:29:12,876 I think I did. 478 00:29:15,211 --> 00:29:17,505 I wanted to say thanks for a great day. 479 00:29:18,089 --> 00:29:19,591 Well, you're welcome. 480 00:29:31,060 --> 00:29:32,520 Oh, God, I needed that! 481 00:29:39,194 --> 00:29:41,321 All right, Pete, I'll see you Monday. 482 00:29:42,906 --> 00:29:45,283 Did you want anything from Disney World? 483 00:29:45,700 --> 00:29:46,993 -Maybe ice cream. -Yeah. 484 00:29:48,745 --> 00:29:52,248 -Everything's good in here? -Never better, thanks to BioWave. 485 00:29:52,332 --> 00:29:54,417 You're not talking to it, are you? 486 00:29:54,501 --> 00:29:57,545 Nope. I'm not talking to it. It's not talking to me. [chuckles] 487 00:30:11,643 --> 00:30:14,145 ♪ I'm so high and so dry ♪ 488 00:30:14,229 --> 00:30:16,606 ♪ I'm way up in the sky ♪ 489 00:30:16,689 --> 00:30:19,275 ♪ The world seems light And I'm so right ♪ 490 00:30:19,359 --> 00:30:21,486 ♪ Jack, I'm mellow ♪ 491 00:30:21,569 --> 00:30:23,822 ♪ I'm gonna put my nickel In a slot machine ♪ 492 00:30:23,905 --> 00:30:26,282 ♪ And play my solid sender ♪ 493 00:30:26,366 --> 00:30:29,369 ♪ I'm gonna strut, peck and Suzie-Q ♪ 494 00:30:29,452 --> 00:30:31,079 ♪ 'Cause I'm on bender ♪ 495 00:30:31,162 --> 00:30:33,706 ♪ I'm so high and so dry ♪ 496 00:30:33,790 --> 00:30:36,125 ♪ I'm sailin' in the sky ♪ 497 00:30:36,209 --> 00:30:39,212 ♪ I got my roach around I can't come down ♪ 498 00:30:39,295 --> 00:30:41,005 ♪ Jack, I'm mellow ♪