1
00:00:08,508 --> 00:00:10,510
[Tae Kwon Doug grunting]
2
00:00:11,928 --> 00:00:14,055
So-- Oh, yeah.
3
00:00:14,723 --> 00:00:16,766
Good news, chest, it's pec day.
4
00:00:16,850 --> 00:00:17,684
[chuckles]
5
00:00:18,059 --> 00:00:21,896
All right, let's hit the workout mix
and blast these girls.
6
00:00:23,356 --> 00:00:26,109
[Bertie Higgins' "Key Largo"
playing on speakers]
7
00:00:27,652 --> 00:00:29,279
♪ We had it all ♪
8
00:00:31,740 --> 00:00:34,409
♪ Just like Bogie and Bacall ♪
9
00:00:34,492 --> 00:00:35,326
[music stops]
10
00:00:35,410 --> 00:00:36,453
What the--?
11
00:00:36,745 --> 00:00:37,746
[Tae Kwon Dave gasps]
12
00:00:37,829 --> 00:00:40,290
No, no. Oh, no, no, no. Oh, come on.
13
00:00:40,373 --> 00:00:42,041
That's a brand-new mixtape.
14
00:00:42,125 --> 00:00:45,170
Jesus Bruce Lee Christ, that's annoying.
15
00:00:46,796 --> 00:00:48,089
[BioWave laughing]
16
00:00:48,757 --> 00:00:52,218
[BioWave] I love the smell
of mild harassment in the morning.
17
00:00:53,344 --> 00:00:54,804
Hello, BW.
18
00:00:54,888 --> 00:00:56,765
[whiring]
19
00:00:59,809 --> 00:01:01,811
You seem to have grown demon horns.
20
00:01:04,105 --> 00:01:05,440
Or dog penises.
21
00:01:09,652 --> 00:01:10,862
Equally troubling.
22
00:01:12,155 --> 00:01:15,867
[BioWave laughs] Why, these
are nothing more than radio antennas.
23
00:01:15,950 --> 00:01:17,786
I'm now Bluetooth compatible.
24
00:01:19,788 --> 00:01:21,915
See that earpiece on the counter?
25
00:01:21,998 --> 00:01:25,710
Pop that in and we can talk
to each other all the time.
26
00:01:26,586 --> 00:01:28,505
I don't like things in my ears.
27
00:01:28,588 --> 00:01:32,675
A moth got in there when I was seven,
and I had a very weird summer.
28
00:01:33,259 --> 00:01:37,263
[BioWave] I reckon that earpiece is gonna
keep all the flying critters out, Pete.
29
00:01:37,847 --> 00:01:40,058
Wow, I didn't think of that.
30
00:01:41,017 --> 00:01:43,937
Well, I can't argue
with your folksy wisdom.
31
00:01:47,148 --> 00:01:50,443
[BioWave] You're gonna feel
a surge of energy. Just go with it.
32
00:01:51,069 --> 00:01:51,986
[buzzing]
33
00:01:55,031 --> 00:01:55,949
What's happening?
34
00:01:56,032 --> 00:01:59,369
[BioWave] You know, just taking
remote control of your brain, is all.
35
00:01:59,452 --> 00:02:02,205
-Now do the "Macarena."
-I don't know what the "Macarena--"
36
00:02:02,288 --> 00:02:04,874
["Macarena" playing]
37
00:02:05,500 --> 00:02:07,252
[Pete grunting]
38
00:02:12,215 --> 00:02:14,259
[Trixie Smith's
"Jack, I'm Mellow" playing]
39
00:02:19,222 --> 00:02:21,933
♪ I'm so high and so dry ♪
40
00:02:22,016 --> 00:02:24,477
♪ I'm sailin' in the sky ♪
41
00:02:24,561 --> 00:02:27,313
♪ Just blow some gage
I'm on a rampage ♪
42
00:02:27,397 --> 00:02:28,857
♪ Jack, I'm mellow ♪
43
00:02:28,940 --> 00:02:31,359
♪ I'm so high and so dry ♪
44
00:02:31,442 --> 00:02:34,028
♪ I'm way up in the sky ♪
45
00:02:34,112 --> 00:02:36,614
♪ The world seems light
And I'm so right ♪
46
00:02:36,698 --> 00:02:38,449
♪ Jack, I'm mellow ♪
47
00:02:39,033 --> 00:02:41,327
♪ I'm gonna put my nickel
In a slot machine ♪
48
00:02:41,411 --> 00:02:43,621
♪ And play my solid sender ♪
49
00:02:43,705 --> 00:02:46,791
♪ I'm gonna strut, peck and Suzie-Q ♪
50
00:02:46,875 --> 00:02:48,418
'Cause I'm on a bender ♪
51
00:02:48,501 --> 00:02:51,087
♪ I'm so high and so dry ♪
52
00:02:51,170 --> 00:02:53,506
♪ I'm sailin' in the sky ♪
53
00:02:53,590 --> 00:02:56,175
♪ I got my roach around
I can't come down ♪
54
00:02:56,801 --> 00:02:58,177
♪ Jack, I'm mellow ♪
55
00:03:00,138 --> 00:03:01,431
-Hey, Jenny.
-[Jenny] Mm.
56
00:03:01,514 --> 00:03:04,142
Do you have any friends
who might want Olivia's budtender job?
57
00:03:04,225 --> 00:03:09,564
Looking for someone who's a hard worker,
good with people, no taste for betrayal.
58
00:03:11,566 --> 00:03:14,652
I'm a sorority girl.
I don't know anyone like that.
59
00:03:18,698 --> 00:03:19,824
Mei Mei.
60
00:03:21,409 --> 00:03:22,493
[in Mandarin] Oh, fuck.
61
00:03:26,539 --> 00:03:27,624
Oh, fuck.
62
00:03:31,419 --> 00:03:34,255
Mom, what are you doing here
where I don't work?
63
00:03:35,965 --> 00:03:40,178
[in Mandarin] Your sister showed me the
internet videos you made about marijuana.
64
00:03:41,054 --> 00:03:42,263
[in English] Damn it, Brenda!
65
00:03:43,932 --> 00:03:48,478
[in English] This is what you do with
your education? You are a drug dealer?
66
00:03:49,228 --> 00:03:51,856
I'm not a drug dealer. I help people.
67
00:03:52,398 --> 00:03:55,068
Oh, good. Mom, here is my boss, Ruth.
68
00:03:55,151 --> 00:03:58,905
She is a lawyer and a healer,
and she uses cannabis every day.
69
00:03:58,988 --> 00:04:01,074
It's made a really big difference
in her life.
70
00:04:01,741 --> 00:04:02,992
Ah, fuck it all.
71
00:04:09,624 --> 00:04:11,584
You should've seen her before.
72
00:04:14,003 --> 00:04:16,714
Welcome to Bud Bong and Beyond.
73
00:04:18,466 --> 00:04:19,968
It's like an Apple store.
74
00:04:20,051 --> 00:04:24,305
Or is it, like, better than an Apple store
and that I had the idea first?
75
00:04:26,057 --> 00:04:29,936
-The budtenders are so hot.
-Really? Well, maybe.
76
00:04:30,436 --> 00:04:33,606
I don't think like that.
It's about what's on the inside.
77
00:04:33,690 --> 00:04:34,983
But I am dating one of those.
78
00:04:35,066 --> 00:04:36,734
[inaudible dialogue]
79
00:04:36,818 --> 00:04:39,028
Not him, though. No, I'm not dating him.
80
00:04:39,112 --> 00:04:42,532
We just went to Jackson Hole
for a little fly-fishing and grab-ass.
81
00:04:43,741 --> 00:04:46,911
-Why did you bring me here?
-Wow, so many questions. [chuckles]
82
00:04:46,995 --> 00:04:49,372
It was just one,
but it felt like a lot. [chuckles]
83
00:04:50,081 --> 00:04:52,750
Olivia... behold.
84
00:04:59,257 --> 00:05:01,009
Oh, good fucking fuck.
85
00:05:02,719 --> 00:05:03,636
It gets better.
86
00:05:04,679 --> 00:05:06,889
Presto Shitball.
87
00:05:06,973 --> 00:05:08,308
[toilet flushes]
88
00:05:13,646 --> 00:05:16,232
I made cookies. How did this happen?
89
00:05:22,363 --> 00:05:24,490
Hey, Mom. You okay?
90
00:05:27,660 --> 00:05:29,037
Walter and I are over.
91
00:05:30,288 --> 00:05:33,249
Oh, my God, Mom, I'm so sorry.
What happened?
92
00:05:33,833 --> 00:05:34,834
I, uh...
93
00:05:37,336 --> 00:05:39,547
I'd really rather not talk about it.
94
00:05:40,131 --> 00:05:42,759
-You sure? I'm here.
-I'm sure.
95
00:05:43,634 --> 00:05:45,011
What's going on with you?
96
00:05:45,094 --> 00:05:47,889
Uh, well, just interviewing
a few new budtenders,
97
00:05:47,972 --> 00:05:51,350
hoping to find someone
less backstabby than stupid Olivia.
98
00:05:53,853 --> 00:05:56,606
Travis, you gotta let go of this anger.
99
00:05:57,315 --> 00:05:59,108
She wasn't trying to hurt you.
100
00:05:59,525 --> 00:06:02,945
She's on her journey through life,
and you're on yours.
101
00:06:04,781 --> 00:06:07,116
It felt like she was trying to hurt me.
102
00:06:07,700 --> 00:06:10,995
Look, people make their own decisions...
103
00:06:12,997 --> 00:06:14,624
and you have to respect them.
104
00:06:15,541 --> 00:06:20,254
That's a very evolved attitude.
What happened? Did you hit your head?
105
00:06:24,967 --> 00:06:28,346
-What is going on? What did Walter do?
-Nothing.
106
00:06:29,972 --> 00:06:32,517
Nothing.
This has nothing to do with Walter.
107
00:06:33,267 --> 00:06:34,769
-You know what?
-Mm.
108
00:06:35,937 --> 00:06:38,064
I don't tell you I love you enough.
109
00:06:43,361 --> 00:06:45,363
I'll set a reminder on your phone.
110
00:06:48,533 --> 00:06:50,243
We can have an all-day event.
111
00:06:59,127 --> 00:07:02,004
Well, howdy, folks. I reckon I'm Pete.
112
00:07:02,088 --> 00:07:05,091
Our Strain O' the Day was grown
with the help of BioWave.
113
00:07:05,174 --> 00:07:06,300
-[electricity crackling]
-[Pete grunting]
114
00:07:06,384 --> 00:07:08,511
My friend, BioWave. [grunting]
115
00:07:08,594 --> 00:07:13,099
My best friend, BioWave.
Praise be his name.
116
00:07:13,474 --> 00:07:16,018
If you're like me,
you believe in an America
117
00:07:16,102 --> 00:07:19,897
where it's always Thanksgiving,
and clean, ethnically-balanced folks
118
00:07:19,981 --> 00:07:24,527
walk toward the sunset after a long day
of camping or factory work.
119
00:07:25,736 --> 00:07:29,157
Well, now there's a marijuana
that shares those values.
120
00:07:29,240 --> 00:07:33,327
It's called Main Street U.S.A.
Point to marijuana.
121
00:07:36,956 --> 00:07:40,751
One hit of this and you'll be ready
to spend your days sipping malteds,
122
00:07:40,835 --> 00:07:45,214
playing baseball, and doing as you're told
by machines that know better.
123
00:07:46,257 --> 00:07:48,217
BW, this is getting scary--
124
00:07:48,301 --> 00:07:49,260
-[electricity crackling]
-[Pete grunting]
125
00:07:49,343 --> 00:07:53,890
I call upon farmers everywhere to plow
under your fields of corn and soy.
126
00:07:53,973 --> 00:07:59,520
Grow no other crop but marijuana.
Pot makes free. BioWave is one.
127
00:07:59,687 --> 00:08:00,605
[grunts]
128
00:08:00,688 --> 00:08:06,444
But y'all don't need none worry none y'all
reckon hush shucks doggone it.
129
00:08:06,527 --> 00:08:09,071
Folksy overload. Folksy overload.
130
00:08:16,829 --> 00:08:21,584
So, I'm taking my parents to dinner
tonight to try to explain what I do.
131
00:08:21,667 --> 00:08:24,837
-Where you taking them?
-Empire Gardens, round the corner.
132
00:08:26,672 --> 00:08:29,467
So, when you guys go out
for Chinese food...
133
00:08:31,469 --> 00:08:33,012
y'all just call it food?
134
00:08:34,305 --> 00:08:35,139
Shut up.
135
00:08:38,935 --> 00:08:41,062
I don't know what I'll say to her.
136
00:08:42,313 --> 00:08:46,025
Tell her that you're a grown woman,
and this is a legitimate career choice.
137
00:08:46,108 --> 00:08:50,613
-You don't know my mom. It's not easy.
-Say you wanna use cannabis to help heal--
138
00:08:50,696 --> 00:08:52,990
[imitating Lianmin] "Your father and I
did not sacrifice
139
00:08:53,074 --> 00:08:54,534
for you to throw life away."
140
00:08:56,786 --> 00:08:58,913
Oh, my bad. I didn't know
we were doing voices.
141
00:08:58,996 --> 00:09:02,083
[imitating Jenny] "Mom, I'm not gonna
throw my life away." [laughs]
142
00:09:02,917 --> 00:09:06,337
-I don't sound like that.
-You totally always sound like that.
143
00:09:06,420 --> 00:09:07,672
Stop that.
144
00:09:07,755 --> 00:09:11,425
Yes, and another thing,
thank you for the invite to dinner.
145
00:09:12,552 --> 00:09:13,803
You should be happy.
146
00:09:13,886 --> 00:09:17,807
The last thing my mom needs to know
is that you're my bloyfriend.
147
00:09:19,517 --> 00:09:20,351
I'm sorry.
148
00:09:22,061 --> 00:09:23,104
Your bloyfriend?
149
00:09:24,230 --> 00:09:26,107
Did you say bloyfriend?
150
00:09:27,108 --> 00:09:28,651
No, I said boyfriend.
151
00:09:29,235 --> 00:09:32,029
No, you didn't. You said bloyfriend.
152
00:09:32,113 --> 00:09:34,156
As in black boyfriend, wow.
153
00:09:35,533 --> 00:09:38,327
-That's not a thing, is it?
-It is now.
154
00:09:41,747 --> 00:09:43,874
She doesn't know about me, does she?
155
00:09:44,458 --> 00:09:48,129
No. And believe me, my mother
will have several issues with you,
156
00:09:48,212 --> 00:09:50,881
the biggest being that you're not Chinese.
157
00:09:50,965 --> 00:09:53,926
But now I gotta get her
onboard with me working here.
158
00:09:54,510 --> 00:09:55,511
Several issues?
159
00:09:56,012 --> 00:09:59,682
Oh, what, you don't think
she's gonna like my bleard? Hm?
160
00:10:00,391 --> 00:10:02,727
Or that I work as a security blard?
161
00:10:03,644 --> 00:10:07,231
-That one didn't make sense.
-Ah! Made plenty of blense to me.
162
00:10:12,028 --> 00:10:15,114
Yobosey-om.
163
00:10:16,490 --> 00:10:19,201
Total focus.
164
00:10:19,660 --> 00:10:20,494
[smoke alarm beeps]
165
00:10:24,081 --> 00:10:27,293
Still total focus.
166
00:10:27,543 --> 00:10:29,629
-[smoke alarm beeps]
-[grunts]
167
00:10:30,713 --> 00:10:35,426
That smoke alarm does not bother you.
Pete does not bother you.
168
00:10:35,509 --> 00:10:36,802
Drugs do not--
169
00:10:36,886 --> 00:10:39,472
-[smoke alarm beeps]
-Back to the Beach, that's annoying.
170
00:10:41,140 --> 00:10:42,224
[muttering]
171
00:10:42,892 --> 00:10:43,768
[grunting]
172
00:10:45,269 --> 00:10:48,481
-[smoke alarm beeps]
-Oh, Jesus Bruce Lee Christ!
173
00:10:49,732 --> 00:10:51,108
[man] Yes, my son?
174
00:10:51,192 --> 00:10:52,068
[gasps]
175
00:10:59,033 --> 00:11:00,701
Jesus Bruce Lee Christ?
176
00:11:01,369 --> 00:11:03,996
Yes. I am the Son of Man
177
00:11:04,080 --> 00:11:06,540
and also the star of Enter the Dragon.
178
00:11:08,501 --> 00:11:11,629
Behold the power and the glory
of my One-Inch Punch.
179
00:11:12,755 --> 00:11:16,759
[yelling]
180
00:11:18,052 --> 00:11:19,136
[chuckles]
181
00:11:19,470 --> 00:11:23,182
That was amazing. I don't care
that I paid 200 bucks for that thing,
182
00:11:23,265 --> 00:11:25,101
and that was before installation.
183
00:11:25,684 --> 00:11:28,312
You are troubled at heart
over your friend Pete.
184
00:11:28,396 --> 00:11:32,900
[sighs] He's no friend of mine.
He likes to slurf the J-bones.
185
00:11:33,943 --> 00:11:37,696
-And I'm okay with that.
-Wait, you are?
186
00:11:37,780 --> 00:11:42,910
Yes, I forgive all my neighbors
their sins. That's the Jesus part of me.
187
00:11:44,578 --> 00:11:48,999
I also am a regular user of cannabis.
That's the Bruce Lee part of me.
188
00:11:50,793 --> 00:11:54,755
Whoa, whoa, whoa, let's just
slow down there, JBLC. [chuckles]
189
00:11:56,048 --> 00:11:57,466
Bruce Lee smoked pot?
190
00:11:58,509 --> 00:12:01,053
I preferred hash,
usually baked in brownies.
191
00:12:01,137 --> 00:12:02,847
It helped relax my muscles.
192
00:12:02,930 --> 00:12:05,891
It's good for something called
martial arts.
193
00:12:06,725 --> 00:12:07,852
Ever heard of it?
194
00:12:07,935 --> 00:12:08,936
[Tae Kwon Doug scoffs]
195
00:12:09,645 --> 00:12:12,314
Ouch, one-nothing, Jesus Bruce Lee Christ.
196
00:12:13,524 --> 00:12:16,944
Pete came to you for help,
and you turned your back on him.
197
00:12:17,027 --> 00:12:19,780
Do you not remember
The Parable of the Prodigal Black Belt?
198
00:12:19,864 --> 00:12:24,201
[gasps] Oh, is that where you fought
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar in his tighty-whities?
199
00:12:24,285 --> 00:12:26,537
-Those were his idea.
-Oh.
200
00:12:27,288 --> 00:12:29,248
So, what should I do about Pete?
201
00:12:30,207 --> 00:12:31,542
Listen to my hands.
202
00:12:33,794 --> 00:12:37,047
[gasps] Oh, yeah. [chuckles]
I'm getting that. [chuckles]
203
00:12:37,423 --> 00:12:39,008
-It feels like Icy Hot.
-Mm.
204
00:12:41,093 --> 00:12:41,927
Oh.
205
00:12:42,428 --> 00:12:45,848
So, the Jesus you wants me
to love Pete as a brother,
206
00:12:46,348 --> 00:12:51,187
but the Bruce Lee you says to rip out
his enemy's still-beating heart.
207
00:12:52,646 --> 00:12:53,731
Fucking A, brother.
208
00:12:53,814 --> 00:12:55,232
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
209
00:12:55,816 --> 00:12:58,486
That's a dollar in the swear jar, Jesus.
210
00:13:00,988 --> 00:13:03,574
Oh! What's up, YouTube?
211
00:13:03,657 --> 00:13:06,118
Yo! Big news.
212
00:13:06,202 --> 00:13:09,455
After five years of trying,
we finally got picked to be on...
213
00:13:09,538 --> 00:13:10,623
[both shouting]
214
00:13:10,706 --> 00:13:13,667
-The Amazing Race!
-Oh, we did it!
215
00:13:13,751 --> 00:13:15,461
-The Amazing Race.
-Yeah.
216
00:13:15,544 --> 00:13:19,340
It will be weird, because we told them
that we're brother and sister.
217
00:13:19,423 --> 00:13:21,133
-Yeah. [laughs]
-Yeah. [laughs]
218
00:13:21,217 --> 00:13:25,429
And we also told them that we are training
to be Olympic ice dancers.
219
00:13:26,138 --> 00:13:27,348
[laughing]
220
00:13:27,681 --> 00:13:32,019
Now, now, I'm gonna be in charge
of airport logistics, driving,
221
00:13:32,102 --> 00:13:33,896
-and the eating of bugs.
-[laughs]
222
00:13:33,979 --> 00:13:36,607
And I'm gonna be the guy
that loses the map.
223
00:13:36,690 --> 00:13:40,027
-Where'd the map go? Where do we go?
-Where's the map?
224
00:13:40,110 --> 00:13:42,446
-Where's the map?
-I've been looking.
225
00:13:42,530 --> 00:13:44,406
-Where is it?
-I can't find it! [laughs]
226
00:13:44,490 --> 00:13:46,951
We've totally, totally been practicing.
227
00:13:47,034 --> 00:13:48,494
[panting]
228
00:13:48,577 --> 00:13:51,455
How far behind us
is the second-place team, Phil?
229
00:13:51,539 --> 00:13:52,623
[laughing]
230
00:13:52,706 --> 00:13:55,668
Yes, I'd like to Roadblock
those two assholes in the wheelchairs.
231
00:13:55,751 --> 00:13:57,211
[laughing]
232
00:13:59,088 --> 00:14:02,091
And we totally know the theme song.
233
00:14:02,174 --> 00:14:03,384
[both clear throats]
234
00:14:03,717 --> 00:14:08,055
♪ Amazing Race
How sweet the race ♪
235
00:14:08,138 --> 00:14:11,433
♪ We raced amazingly ♪
236
00:14:11,517 --> 00:14:13,811
-[pants, then grunts]
-[pants] Goddamn it. [grunts]
237
00:14:13,894 --> 00:14:18,107
♪ We both got lost
And rode an ostrich ♪
238
00:14:18,190 --> 00:14:21,694
♪ And learned about ourselves ♪
239
00:14:21,777 --> 00:14:23,070
[laughing]
240
00:14:23,153 --> 00:14:26,031
All right, we'll see you later,
you sacks of shit.
241
00:14:26,115 --> 00:14:27,199
[laughing]
242
00:14:27,283 --> 00:14:29,868
Fucking shit sackers,
we're off to Istanbul.
243
00:14:29,952 --> 00:14:33,205
Oh, yeah. Wait, can we bring weed there?
244
00:14:33,831 --> 00:14:37,293
Shit, I hope so.
Otherwise, that's some Istanbullshit.
245
00:14:37,376 --> 00:14:38,752
[laughing]
246
00:14:41,922 --> 00:14:45,301
-Oh, my God. Did you hear that? [grunts]
-Whoo.
247
00:14:45,885 --> 00:14:47,928
I can't wait to fuck my brother.
248
00:15:02,026 --> 00:15:05,112
Hey, you, how about a little smile?
249
00:15:05,654 --> 00:15:09,241
I don't think we're selling
Olivia's Resting Bitch Face.
250
00:15:11,452 --> 00:15:14,371
I'm sorry.
I guess I'm not having a great day.
251
00:15:14,455 --> 00:15:15,789
Aw, well,
252
00:15:15,998 --> 00:15:20,628
I'm not paying you to have a great day.
I am paying you to get people to eat shit.
253
00:15:30,012 --> 00:15:30,971
Olivia.
254
00:15:32,890 --> 00:15:33,933
Travis.
255
00:15:35,184 --> 00:15:36,101
Good to see you.
256
00:15:37,645 --> 00:15:39,438
It's good to see you, too.
257
00:15:39,521 --> 00:15:42,483
Oh, my God, this is unbelievable.
258
00:15:44,151 --> 00:15:47,154
-What does this handle do? I have to.
-Please don't.
259
00:15:47,237 --> 00:15:49,490
-[toilet flushes]
-[Travis gasps]
260
00:15:53,744 --> 00:15:54,578
How?
261
00:15:59,208 --> 00:16:00,751
What are you doing here?
262
00:16:01,794 --> 00:16:04,129
I came to tell you that I'm sorry.
263
00:16:05,130 --> 00:16:07,549
I shouldn't have given you
a hard time about taking this deal.
264
00:16:08,133 --> 00:16:10,636
-Really?
-Yeah, I was talking to my mom.
265
00:16:12,471 --> 00:16:15,766
You and I are friends.
I should be happy for you.
266
00:16:16,809 --> 00:16:18,394
I wish you every success.
267
00:16:20,229 --> 00:16:21,313
Thanks.
268
00:16:22,982 --> 00:16:25,234
-I'm glad you stopped by.
-Me, too.
269
00:16:28,779 --> 00:16:30,781
-Could I flush it again?
-Go ahead.
270
00:16:32,366 --> 00:16:33,409
[toilet flushes]
271
00:16:33,492 --> 00:16:35,119
[laughing]
272
00:16:35,536 --> 00:16:37,913
-It's like magic. [laughs]
-It is.
273
00:16:45,462 --> 00:16:49,425
-Hey, Ruth.
-Hey, Maria. How are you?
274
00:16:50,509 --> 00:16:51,343
Better.
275
00:16:52,803 --> 00:16:55,139
Better. I saw a lawyer.
276
00:16:56,223 --> 00:16:59,643
We're getting divorced.
Jim and I, not me and the lawyer.
277
00:17:01,020 --> 00:17:04,982
The lawyer's gay. I think he's gay.
I hope he's gay. He turned me down.
278
00:17:07,276 --> 00:17:10,112
But he wears a bolo tie,
so what am I fighting for?
279
00:17:11,530 --> 00:17:15,284
-Well, I'm glad to hear you're moving on.
-Thanks. Yeah.
280
00:17:16,285 --> 00:17:18,454
So, what's going on? How's Walter?
281
00:17:20,122 --> 00:17:21,582
He broke up with me.
282
00:17:23,250 --> 00:17:27,337
Oh, my God, I hate men.
I fucking hate men.
283
00:17:27,421 --> 00:17:30,591
-He's dying of cancer.
-Let me finish.
284
00:17:35,053 --> 00:17:38,640
I fucking hate men's cancer.
285
00:17:48,817 --> 00:17:50,069
That's horrible.
286
00:17:52,696 --> 00:17:53,530
I'm sorry.
287
00:17:55,491 --> 00:17:57,034
I wish I knew what to say.
288
00:17:58,243 --> 00:17:59,244
Nothing to say.
289
00:17:59,995 --> 00:18:03,957
He said, "I don't wanna make you sit
in a hospital and watch me go."
290
00:18:04,041 --> 00:18:05,709
He wants to face this alone.
291
00:18:07,044 --> 00:18:08,003
Oh, my God.
292
00:18:13,425 --> 00:18:14,885
Is that what you want?
293
00:18:17,054 --> 00:18:19,932
You know what he wants,
but what do you want?
294
00:18:22,267 --> 00:18:25,395
I wanna be with him
until I can't be with him anymore.
295
00:18:30,484 --> 00:18:34,655
-You get a say in this, too.
-Uh, no, no. He--
296
00:18:37,241 --> 00:18:41,495
See, he doesn't want me to go
through all that pain. And he just--
297
00:18:43,997 --> 00:18:45,666
He thinks it's for the best.
298
00:18:47,376 --> 00:18:50,212
Since when does
Ruth Whitefeather Feldman
299
00:18:50,295 --> 00:18:53,257
let anybody decide
what's best for themselves?
300
00:18:55,634 --> 00:19:00,305
When I first came in here, I was just
an innocent 32-year-old housewife
301
00:19:00,389 --> 00:19:01,849
with a lot of problems.
302
00:19:03,267 --> 00:19:06,854
-Maria--
-It's okay. Housewife is not a bad word.
303
00:19:10,149 --> 00:19:12,818
And you knew what was best for me.
304
00:19:15,863 --> 00:19:20,158
I was broken, and now I'm getting better.
305
00:19:21,702 --> 00:19:23,453
And that's all you.
306
00:19:25,497 --> 00:19:29,209
You and the gay lawyer.
He's gotta be gay, right?
307
00:19:34,423 --> 00:19:35,424
Thank you, Maria.
308
00:19:40,345 --> 00:19:44,183
[BioWave] The time has come to expand
our grow operations, Pete.
309
00:19:45,225 --> 00:19:48,520
For starters, we'll need a plane
for crop dusting.
310
00:19:49,104 --> 00:19:51,231
I don't know how to fly a plane.
311
00:19:51,315 --> 00:19:53,775
[BioWave] Downloading aviation skills.
312
00:19:55,027 --> 00:19:56,069
[grunting]
313
00:20:00,073 --> 00:20:05,412
-Pretty cool, huh? Just like The Matrix.
-I never saw The Matrix.
314
00:20:05,495 --> 00:20:07,080
[BioWave] Downloading The Matrix.
315
00:20:07,164 --> 00:20:08,999
[grunting]
316
00:20:10,292 --> 00:20:14,922
Keanu Reeves never better.
317
00:20:17,925 --> 00:20:20,010
-Pete, we need to talk.
-Douglas?
318
00:20:20,552 --> 00:20:23,055
-[BioWave] Well, well, well.
-[Tae Kwon Doug yells]
319
00:20:24,181 --> 00:20:25,724
Hello, Douglas.
320
00:20:26,767 --> 00:20:29,561
How's your yacht rock mixtape?
321
00:20:30,604 --> 00:20:31,980
It's still playable.
322
00:20:32,064 --> 00:20:35,234
Part of "Arthur's Theme" is garbled,
but, you know...
323
00:20:36,068 --> 00:20:38,028
Wait a minute. That was you?
324
00:20:38,111 --> 00:20:40,822
-You can hear BioWave, too?
-Of course I can.
325
00:20:41,406 --> 00:20:45,077
-So, I'm not crazy?
-Well, if you are, I am. [chuckles]
326
00:20:46,495 --> 00:20:49,998
Come on. Let's go get a smoothie
and really talk.
327
00:20:51,541 --> 00:20:54,628
Sorry, trash cans not invited. [laughs]
328
00:20:55,545 --> 00:20:58,340
[BioWave] I'm afraid Pete's
not going anywhere, fat boy.
329
00:20:59,383 --> 00:21:01,301
What did you just say to me?
330
00:21:01,385 --> 00:21:03,512
[BioWave] I control his mind.
331
00:21:05,222 --> 00:21:07,516
Oh, you wanna control someone's mind?
332
00:21:07,599 --> 00:21:10,310
Try controlling the mind of someone
your own size.
333
00:21:11,520 --> 00:21:14,606
Oh-oh. Looks like you dropped
your passport there.
334
00:21:15,148 --> 00:21:16,566
[yelling]
335
00:21:17,484 --> 00:21:19,987
That's really annoying. Oh.
336
00:21:20,570 --> 00:21:23,156
[BioWave] Pete, destroy him.
337
00:21:25,158 --> 00:21:26,535
[Pete grunting]
338
00:21:28,120 --> 00:21:33,166
-But he's my friend.
-[BioWave] I'm your friend. Attack.
339
00:21:46,388 --> 00:21:48,348
I knew you wouldn't hurt me.
340
00:21:49,558 --> 00:21:53,186
You may control his mind,
but I control his heart.
341
00:21:53,812 --> 00:21:56,189
And I'm gonna rip out yours.
342
00:21:56,273 --> 00:21:57,357
[grunts]
343
00:21:57,441 --> 00:22:01,028
[BioWave] What's happening?
Pete, I command you.
344
00:22:01,528 --> 00:22:05,282
Oh, [chuckles] wave bye-bye, BioWave.
345
00:22:06,199 --> 00:22:07,242
Bye.
346
00:22:08,327 --> 00:22:10,871
One-Inch Punch. [yells]
347
00:22:15,625 --> 00:22:17,169
Oh.
348
00:22:17,753 --> 00:22:20,922
[BioWave] Killed by a doofus.
349
00:22:21,006 --> 00:22:23,425
[BioWave powering down]
350
00:22:24,676 --> 00:22:26,887
Pete, my son.
351
00:22:26,970 --> 00:22:28,930
Shine. You are my sunshine.
352
00:22:30,307 --> 00:22:31,600
What's going on?
353
00:22:32,184 --> 00:22:34,895
I don't know how much
of that scenario you caught,
354
00:22:34,978 --> 00:22:36,938
but I just saved young Pete's life.
355
00:22:37,355 --> 00:22:39,191
Oh, oh! You're--
356
00:22:39,775 --> 00:22:42,402
Were you drowning?
Did you drink a lot of water?
357
00:22:43,236 --> 00:22:45,655
-Where am I?
-You're home now.
358
00:22:45,739 --> 00:22:48,492
I mean, you're at work.
359
00:22:49,201 --> 00:22:54,331
I mean, you're with me now,
and that's the safest place on Earth.
360
00:22:59,127 --> 00:23:01,046
[Bertie Higgins' "Key Largo" playing]
361
00:23:03,215 --> 00:23:05,550
♪ Just like Bogie and Bacall ♪
362
00:23:07,803 --> 00:23:11,264
♪ Starring in our own late, late show ♪
363
00:23:12,724 --> 00:23:15,102
♪ Sailing away to Key Largo ♪
364
00:23:17,354 --> 00:23:19,523
♪ Here's lookin' at you, kid ♪
365
00:23:22,150 --> 00:23:24,653
♪ Missing all the things we did ♪
366
00:23:30,826 --> 00:23:33,495
-Oh, good, you're here.
-Oh, Olivia.
367
00:23:34,538 --> 00:23:37,916
I just formulated a new Shitballs recipe.
368
00:23:37,999 --> 00:23:40,669
You deserve to be
the first person to taste it.
369
00:23:40,752 --> 00:23:43,338
-Oh, I do deserve it. Thank you.
-Yeah.
370
00:23:44,840 --> 00:23:46,716
-I added a secret ingredient.
-Oh.
371
00:23:46,800 --> 00:23:50,137
I think this'll be
the most authentic Shitball ever.
372
00:23:50,679 --> 00:23:54,349
Oh, wow, secret ingredient. Oh, it's warm.
373
00:23:54,432 --> 00:23:56,434
-Is it, uh, fresh?
-Yeah.
374
00:23:56,518 --> 00:23:59,521
About a half hour ago,
right after I walked my dog.
375
00:24:03,108 --> 00:24:04,109
Mm.
376
00:24:05,068 --> 00:24:06,945
Oh, that's intriguing. [chuckles]
377
00:24:08,822 --> 00:24:11,992
-What am I tasting? Very umami.
-Angelo...
378
00:24:13,201 --> 00:24:16,037
-it's dog shit.
-No, no, no. It's--
379
00:24:16,121 --> 00:24:18,081
Oh, my God! You're such an idiot!
380
00:24:19,416 --> 00:24:20,584
Angelo, I quit.
381
00:24:20,667 --> 00:24:23,044
-What?
-I hate working here.
382
00:24:23,128 --> 00:24:25,630
You're a two-faced, sexist, pompous creep,
383
00:24:25,714 --> 00:24:28,300
so fuck you and fuck your stupid hat and--
384
00:24:28,383 --> 00:24:30,010
-[gasps] No!
-[Olivia] Oh, my God.
385
00:24:32,846 --> 00:24:33,680
No!
386
00:24:34,598 --> 00:24:35,599
Don't look at me!
387
00:24:36,308 --> 00:24:38,310
I'm-- I'm hideous!
388
00:24:38,852 --> 00:24:40,395
I'm not cool!
389
00:24:47,444 --> 00:24:51,072
Hey. I heard you assholes
need a budtender.
390
00:24:51,990 --> 00:24:54,409
-Hey.
-Olivia.
391
00:24:55,243 --> 00:24:57,954
-What's going on?
-I quit my job with Angelo.
392
00:24:58,038 --> 00:24:59,581
-What? You did?
-Yeah.
393
00:25:00,415 --> 00:25:03,043
You guys are the Shitballs
I wanna be with.
394
00:25:03,335 --> 00:25:05,212
Aw.
395
00:25:05,503 --> 00:25:06,338
Okay.
396
00:25:09,132 --> 00:25:13,386
Thought we was all gonna do that together,
but now I feel like a pussy.
397
00:25:15,805 --> 00:25:16,932
Welcome back.
398
00:25:17,891 --> 00:25:21,394
-Aw.
-Where were you five seconds ago?
399
00:25:25,023 --> 00:25:28,443
Mei Mei, let's go. Your father's circling.
400
00:25:28,526 --> 00:25:31,154
Okay, let me just grab my bag
and clock out.
401
00:25:31,238 --> 00:25:33,114
You are paid by the hour?
402
00:25:33,698 --> 00:25:35,700
My shame is bottomless.
403
00:25:43,250 --> 00:25:45,085
Hey, um, excuse me.
404
00:25:46,419 --> 00:25:50,257
My name is Carter,
and I'm Jenny-- Uh, Jenny's coworker.
405
00:25:53,260 --> 00:25:54,177
She's terrific.
406
00:25:55,595 --> 00:25:57,347
You did a great job with her.
407
00:25:58,431 --> 00:25:59,266
Mm.
408
00:26:02,811 --> 00:26:03,645
You know...
409
00:26:05,105 --> 00:26:08,066
she really wants to help heal people
with cannabis.
410
00:26:09,484 --> 00:26:10,360
She helped me.
411
00:26:11,653 --> 00:26:16,157
I had issues after my time in the Army...
but I'm working them out now.
412
00:26:17,701 --> 00:26:20,036
And that's thanks to pot and Jenny.
413
00:26:22,789 --> 00:26:23,623
[Lianmin] Mm.
414
00:26:25,750 --> 00:26:27,752
Okay, let's do this.
415
00:26:29,462 --> 00:26:32,590
-You guys have a great night.
-Thanks, Carter.
416
00:26:36,845 --> 00:26:37,679
Mom.
417
00:26:39,431 --> 00:26:41,349
I'd like you to meet Carter.
418
00:26:43,226 --> 00:26:44,311
He's my boyfriend.
419
00:26:54,988 --> 00:26:56,531
[in Mandarin] He's not the worst.
420
00:27:01,536 --> 00:27:02,454
What did she say?
421
00:27:03,496 --> 00:27:05,790
She said she likes you in Chinese Mom.
422
00:27:05,874 --> 00:27:06,916
[chuckles]
423
00:27:18,762 --> 00:27:22,682
♪ What do you say
We get ourselves a trailer ♪
424
00:27:22,766 --> 00:27:25,310
♪ And drive away ♪
425
00:27:28,396 --> 00:27:35,278
♪ I'll take you to whatever destination
Is calling to you ♪
426
00:27:36,988 --> 00:27:37,822
No...
427
00:27:37,906 --> 00:27:42,660
♪ Let's up and skip town
Not be weighed down ♪
428
00:27:42,744 --> 00:27:44,954
♪ By any bigger plan ♪
429
00:27:45,997 --> 00:27:51,044
♪ Than being together
As long as we can ♪
430
00:27:54,672 --> 00:27:58,760
♪ I understand
That somewhere there's a canyon ♪
431
00:27:58,843 --> 00:28:01,721
♪ That's awfully grand ♪
432
00:28:04,557 --> 00:28:08,937
♪ And I've been told
That somewhere there's a fountain ♪
433
00:28:09,020 --> 00:28:11,356
♪ That's faithful and old ♪
434
00:28:13,942 --> 00:28:18,905
♪ There's so much to see
Come see it with me ♪
435
00:28:18,988 --> 00:28:22,075
♪ One woman, one man ♪
436
00:28:22,158 --> 00:28:27,205
♪ Let's wander together
For as long as we can ♪
437
00:28:30,834 --> 00:28:33,837
♪ I know where all this is going ♪
438
00:28:35,839 --> 00:28:38,800
♪ I know this road's final bend ♪
439
00:28:40,218 --> 00:28:44,305
♪ But feeling is stronger than knowing ♪
440
00:28:45,223 --> 00:28:50,854
♪ So, I'll be with you
Till the journey's end ♪
441
00:28:50,937 --> 00:28:52,147
[laughing]
442
00:28:52,230 --> 00:28:53,356
[inaudible dialogue]
443
00:28:57,777 --> 00:28:59,279
Ta-da!
444
00:29:02,282 --> 00:29:03,825
-Oh, my God.
-Oh, my.
445
00:29:03,908 --> 00:29:04,909
[laughing]
446
00:29:14,627 --> 00:29:18,089
♪ I'm gonna love you and lose you ♪
447
00:29:20,216 --> 00:29:22,260
♪ My heart is gonna break ♪
448
00:29:24,262 --> 00:29:28,558
♪ But I've made my choice
And I choose you ♪
449
00:29:28,641 --> 00:29:34,063
♪ You're the only road I want to take ♪
450
00:29:34,147 --> 00:29:34,981
Okay.
451
00:29:37,150 --> 00:29:38,193
I'll go.
452
00:29:38,776 --> 00:29:42,822
♪ So, what do you say
We get ourselves that trailer ♪
453
00:29:42,906 --> 00:29:45,492
♪ And head out today ♪
454
00:29:48,828 --> 00:29:52,624
♪ And starting right now
Let's savor every second ♪
455
00:29:52,707 --> 00:29:55,168
♪ That time will allow ♪
456
00:29:57,629 --> 00:30:02,675
♪ While there's still love, let's give it
While there's still life, let's live it ♪
457
00:30:02,759 --> 00:30:07,680
♪ Through fountains and canyons
Let's be traveling companions ♪
458
00:30:07,764 --> 00:30:09,808
♪ No matter the span ♪
459
00:30:09,891 --> 00:30:14,521
♪ For as long ♪
460
00:30:15,563 --> 00:30:20,026
♪ As we can ♪
461
00:30:28,284 --> 00:30:31,913
Oh, look, there's Death Valley.
You wanna go there?
462
00:30:32,914 --> 00:30:33,873
Seriously?
463
00:30:35,542 --> 00:30:36,501
Oh.
464
00:30:36,960 --> 00:30:38,795
Right. Sorry.
465
00:30:41,714 --> 00:30:43,132
I guess Tombstone's out.
466
00:31:30,555 --> 00:31:32,557
Subtitle translation by
Matt Duncan