1 00:00:28,950 --> 00:00:30,580 Can anyone explain this to me? 2 00:00:31,250 --> 00:00:35,170 That's Fassan's vehicle. But where's our target, boys and girls? 3 00:00:37,170 --> 00:00:39,800 So are you here for the high risk or the low pay? 4 00:00:39,960 --> 00:00:42,040 Actually, I'm here to keep the world safe... 5 00:00:42,210 --> 00:00:45,170 from warlords and petty dictators like Fassan. 6 00:01:23,590 --> 00:01:25,630 "Cave"? Well, duh. 7 00:01:25,800 --> 00:01:28,970 Not cave, cave. It's Latin. 8 00:01:29,140 --> 00:01:30,720 It means "beware." 9 00:01:32,430 --> 00:01:36,140 And remember, we want Fassan alive for trial if possible. 10 00:01:46,780 --> 00:01:48,320 Uh, sir? 11 00:01:48,490 --> 00:01:51,740 You did say, "alive if possible," right? 12 00:02:00,170 --> 00:02:02,670 This isn't Fassan's handiwork. Pull back. 13 00:02:02,840 --> 00:02:04,800 - Whoa, mama. 14 00:02:05,920 --> 00:02:07,340 - What is it, Burns? 15 00:02:10,300 --> 00:02:13,260 I think it's my kids' college-tuition fund, sarge. 16 00:02:23,110 --> 00:02:24,440 Deathmongers! 17 00:02:31,450 --> 00:02:32,780 - World-enders! 18 00:02:33,950 --> 00:02:35,700 Touch not the black heart! 19 00:02:37,830 --> 00:02:40,670 Mophir preserves the world. 20 00:02:48,510 --> 00:02:50,180 - What is he? 21 00:02:50,470 --> 00:02:52,470 Local color? 22 00:02:56,140 --> 00:02:57,810 Sarge, you okay? 23 00:03:29,090 --> 00:03:30,760 What? 24 00:03:31,170 --> 00:03:32,710 Burns? 25 00:03:33,930 --> 00:03:36,810 I'm— I'm fine. 26 00:03:36,970 --> 00:03:38,720 - How's the sarge? - He'll live. 27 00:03:38,890 --> 00:03:42,560 - But we need to get him back to base. - Or you can all die right here. 28 00:03:42,730 --> 00:03:44,560 Burns? What are you doing? 29 00:03:51,150 --> 00:03:52,480 Burns, don't! 30 00:05:30,250 --> 00:05:31,420 Whoa. 31 00:05:35,920 --> 00:05:37,340 Crikey! 32 00:05:44,850 --> 00:05:46,730 Not so fast, Mirror Master! 33 00:05:54,610 --> 00:05:56,860 Good day, mate! 34 00:05:59,740 --> 00:06:01,530 Flash, catch! 35 00:06:03,620 --> 00:06:05,410 Thanks, yo! 36 00:06:11,380 --> 00:06:14,090 For fast energy, grab a Lightspeed Booster Bar. 37 00:06:14,250 --> 00:06:16,380 With a big burst of flavor in every bite! 38 00:06:17,840 --> 00:06:19,380 - Yeah! - Yeah! 39 00:06:19,550 --> 00:06:24,140 See? This is what these self-appointed guardians of humanity are about. 40 00:06:24,310 --> 00:06:27,730 Cashing in on their image. Shilling for whoever's got the deepest pockets. 41 00:06:27,890 --> 00:06:30,560 They turn our kids into bullies and delinquents... 42 00:06:30,730 --> 00:06:33,060 with their arrogant might-makes-right policy. 43 00:06:33,230 --> 00:06:35,860 Once again, the glorious one tells it like it is. 44 00:06:36,030 --> 00:06:37,410 Am I right? Or am I right? 45 00:06:37,570 --> 00:06:38,900 Darn straight! 46 00:06:40,160 --> 00:06:42,910 How dare you open up the League to this kind of criticism! 47 00:06:43,070 --> 00:06:44,490 Hey, I wasn't that bad. 48 00:06:44,660 --> 00:06:46,410 Listen, we're a team. 49 00:06:46,580 --> 00:06:48,540 How people see you affects all of us. 50 00:06:48,710 --> 00:06:51,130 Then a single guy like you should be thanking me... 51 00:06:51,290 --> 00:06:54,920 because I have been finding out the ladies love a celebrity. 52 00:06:55,090 --> 00:06:57,090 You done with those? 53 00:07:00,880 --> 00:07:03,880 What do you need that much money for anyway? 54 00:07:06,180 --> 00:07:07,890 Tell me you're not jealous. 55 00:07:11,600 --> 00:07:13,390 - Tell me you're not serious. 56 00:07:13,560 --> 00:07:15,480 Why do you need a van? 57 00:07:15,650 --> 00:07:18,230 Wait. Don't answer that. I don't wanna know. 58 00:07:18,400 --> 00:07:20,690 The Flashmobile's not just a van... 59 00:07:21,030 --> 00:07:22,780 it's an expression of my inner self. 60 00:07:27,120 --> 00:07:28,370 Uh, that's not right. 61 00:07:39,300 --> 00:07:44,470 Yeah. Well, hotshot, next time you feel the need to express your self, repress. 62 00:07:44,640 --> 00:07:46,980 - But that's not even the best part. - Huh? 63 00:07:47,430 --> 00:07:49,430 Check it out. 64 00:07:55,730 --> 00:07:58,650 - Hey, we should take a road trip. - What? 65 00:07:58,820 --> 00:08:01,320 Think about it. Two hard-traveling heroes... 66 00:08:01,490 --> 00:08:03,830 cruising the countryside looking for America. 67 00:08:04,570 --> 00:08:07,910 Uh, yeah, I'll let you know when my schedule frees up. 68 00:08:09,790 --> 00:08:12,920 It's time we told these supercilious sideshow swindlers... 69 00:08:13,080 --> 00:08:16,000 what we think of them. You're no superheroes. 70 00:08:16,170 --> 00:08:19,090 - You're... - Super zeros! Yeah! 71 00:08:20,510 --> 00:08:21,840 It's not my fault. 72 00:08:22,010 --> 00:08:24,390 Of course not. You just handed that jerk a weapon. 73 00:08:24,550 --> 00:08:27,510 - You didn't tell him to fire it. - Aw, he's full of hot air. 74 00:08:27,680 --> 00:08:30,390 Guys like that back down the second you stand up to them. 75 00:08:30,560 --> 00:08:32,850 - I'll prove it. - Hold on. 76 00:08:33,020 --> 00:08:34,690 - Hey, Glorious. 77 00:08:34,850 --> 00:08:36,100 Oh, no. 78 00:08:36,270 --> 00:08:39,690 You have something to say about the League, say it to my face. 79 00:08:41,400 --> 00:08:44,690 Ladies and gentlemen, it seems we have an unexpected guest. 80 00:08:44,860 --> 00:08:48,030 Not that we should be surprised. I mean, you're a superhero. 81 00:08:48,200 --> 00:08:52,200 You don't have to wait for an invitation. You go where you want, when you want. 82 00:08:52,370 --> 00:08:54,960 Yeah, but we're the good guys. 83 00:08:55,120 --> 00:08:58,540 Of course you are! And I'm sure you can account for the fact... 84 00:08:58,710 --> 00:09:01,300 that since your so-called Justice League formed... 85 00:09:01,460 --> 00:09:03,460 white-collar crime is up three percent. 86 00:09:03,630 --> 00:09:05,510 White collar. That's not really our... 87 00:09:05,680 --> 00:09:08,350 Or maybe you'd care to explain why on your watch... 88 00:09:08,510 --> 00:09:10,970 fifty percent of marriages now end in divorce... 89 00:09:11,140 --> 00:09:13,310 and the other 50 percent in death! 90 00:09:19,980 --> 00:09:23,980 All that stuff you said about the League being in this for money isn't right. 91 00:09:24,150 --> 00:09:26,400 So you're saying that unlike the rest of us... 92 00:09:26,570 --> 00:09:28,910 who work hard to provide for our loved ones... 93 00:09:29,070 --> 00:09:31,450 you do what you do for less selfish reasons? 94 00:09:31,620 --> 00:09:34,330 Exactly. It's like Green Lantern explained to me earlier. 95 00:09:34,500 --> 00:09:36,170 Don't. Don't say it. 96 00:09:36,330 --> 00:09:38,960 - We're above all that. - You heard it, folks! 97 00:09:39,130 --> 00:09:40,550 Straight from the source. 98 00:09:40,710 --> 00:09:43,840 The "Just Us" League says, "We're better than you." 99 00:09:44,010 --> 00:09:46,260 Yeah. Wait, no! 100 00:09:46,420 --> 00:09:50,670 We're out of time. Tomorrow, more of the hard truth you wanna hear. 101 00:09:53,350 --> 00:09:55,890 Hey, great show, kid. Drop by any time. 102 00:09:56,100 --> 00:09:58,230 But I didn't... You— I— 103 00:09:58,390 --> 00:10:02,190 Nothing personal. It's just showbiz. It's not like it's the end of the world. 104 00:10:02,770 --> 00:10:05,900 That's exactly what it is, end of the world. 105 00:10:08,570 --> 00:10:11,070 Mophir tells you don't touch. 106 00:10:11,240 --> 00:10:13,990 Do you listen to Mophir? Now world ends. 107 00:10:14,160 --> 00:10:16,080 Not Mophir's fault. 108 00:10:16,250 --> 00:10:18,840 But Mophir know how world works. 109 00:10:19,000 --> 00:10:22,750 Mophir get blamed just the same. 110 00:10:40,650 --> 00:10:42,940 Strange song. What is it? 111 00:10:44,320 --> 00:10:46,950 - Hey! - How many mammals will this kill? 112 00:10:47,320 --> 00:10:49,320 Buddy, I need you to put that back, okay? 113 00:10:49,490 --> 00:10:51,280 - What are you doing? - How many? 114 00:10:51,740 --> 00:10:54,200 Depends. That thing holds seven rounds. 115 00:10:54,370 --> 00:10:57,210 Not enough. What's our deadliest weapon? 116 00:10:57,370 --> 00:10:59,450 What's with the stinking quiz? 117 00:10:59,830 --> 00:11:01,210 A nuke, okay? 118 00:11:01,500 --> 00:11:03,960 Numbers. Give me numbers. 119 00:11:04,130 --> 00:11:06,720 I don't know. Thousands, maybe millions. 120 00:11:09,380 --> 00:11:11,300 It's a start. 121 00:11:15,390 --> 00:11:17,560 Today I have a report from Dr. Frederick... 122 00:11:17,720 --> 00:11:21,100 the child psychologist in which he states: 123 00:11:21,270 --> 00:11:24,230 "Some children who admire these over-pumped superheroes... 124 00:11:24,400 --> 00:11:27,280 do poorly in school, quarrel with their siblings... 125 00:11:27,440 --> 00:11:29,440 and refuse to eat their vegetables." 126 00:11:29,610 --> 00:11:33,910 I'd like to ask the "Just Us" League how they respond to these accusations. 127 00:11:34,070 --> 00:11:37,450 But I can't! Because they don't have the nerve to show up here. 128 00:11:37,620 --> 00:11:40,460 - Boo! - Chicken! 129 00:11:40,620 --> 00:11:43,660 America, I ask you, why are they afraid of me? 130 00:11:43,830 --> 00:11:46,460 What do they have to hide? We demand the truth! 131 00:11:46,630 --> 00:11:48,340 - Yeah! - Yeah! 132 00:11:51,010 --> 00:11:52,340 What a rude little man. 133 00:11:52,510 --> 00:11:54,470 Someone needs to put him in his place. 134 00:11:54,640 --> 00:11:58,390 No. if we respond, we'll just encourage him. 135 00:11:58,810 --> 00:12:00,270 Role models? 136 00:12:00,430 --> 00:12:05,140 I've seen showgirls with more modesty than this so-called Wonder Woman. 137 00:12:05,310 --> 00:12:06,810 - Oh, yeah. 138 00:12:08,780 --> 00:12:10,660 I will not tolerate this! 139 00:12:11,820 --> 00:12:14,990 Princess, I don't like Godfrey any more than you do. 140 00:12:15,160 --> 00:12:18,200 But in this country, the man's entitled to his opinion... 141 00:12:18,370 --> 00:12:20,120 however boneheaded it is. 142 00:12:20,290 --> 00:12:23,460 Democracy in action. Hey, didn't the Greeks invent that? 143 00:12:29,750 --> 00:12:32,000 And what's wrong with the way I dress? 144 00:12:32,470 --> 00:12:35,010 Uh, you wanna take that? 145 00:12:38,550 --> 00:12:42,010 - You are about to witness the birth of a new age in missile defense. 146 00:12:42,180 --> 00:12:45,100 Rather than trying to shoot down enemy missiles from space... 147 00:12:45,270 --> 00:12:48,520 we believe that our new AFD, Anti-Fusion Device... 148 00:12:48,690 --> 00:12:51,530 will enable us to completely neutralize enemy warheads... 149 00:12:51,690 --> 00:12:54,020 at the point of detonation. 150 00:13:03,750 --> 00:13:07,590 Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the AFD. 151 00:13:16,590 --> 00:13:18,630 - Nukes are live and in position. 152 00:13:18,800 --> 00:13:20,720 Good. Prepare to detonate. 153 00:13:29,360 --> 00:13:31,530 Hold it, guy! Restricted area! 154 00:13:44,040 --> 00:13:45,830 General, we've got a security breach. 155 00:13:48,460 --> 00:13:50,000 He's heading for the nukes. 156 00:13:50,170 --> 00:13:51,210 Abort test. 157 00:14:09,940 --> 00:14:11,730 Cut him off! 158 00:14:27,620 --> 00:14:29,250 Don't move. 159 00:14:32,670 --> 00:14:35,260 Being a superhero, I'm always on the run. 160 00:14:35,420 --> 00:14:37,710 And I can't afford to slow down for anything. 161 00:14:37,880 --> 00:14:40,010 Not even gastro-intestinal distress. 162 00:14:40,180 --> 00:14:43,520 So when I need fast, fast, fast relief from the cramping... 163 00:14:43,680 --> 00:14:46,770 burning, itching— Oh, I can't say this! 164 00:14:47,060 --> 00:14:49,190 What's the problem? 165 00:14:50,190 --> 00:14:52,270 Cramping, burning, itching? 166 00:14:52,440 --> 00:14:54,570 What pinhead wrote this garbage? 167 00:14:54,940 --> 00:14:56,360 Your sponsors. 168 00:14:56,530 --> 00:15:00,120 They can kiss my boots! I'm not saying it! 169 00:15:01,280 --> 00:15:04,660 You're his agent. You deal with him. 170 00:15:05,950 --> 00:15:09,290 Listen, bunkie, you know you're my number-one guy. Talk to me. 171 00:15:09,460 --> 00:15:11,460 Artie Bauman's completely here for you. 172 00:15:11,620 --> 00:15:13,040 You say the word, we walk. 173 00:15:13,210 --> 00:15:15,250 - Great! Let's go. - You can't. 174 00:15:15,420 --> 00:15:18,130 We already got paid and I spent my 60 percent. 175 00:15:18,460 --> 00:15:22,210 Forget it. No one's asking the other guys to do this sort of thing. 176 00:15:22,760 --> 00:15:25,300 That's because they don't have what you have. 177 00:15:27,640 --> 00:15:29,100 What? My speed? My charm? 178 00:15:29,270 --> 00:15:32,440 They don't have me as their agent. So tell them to call me. 179 00:15:32,600 --> 00:15:35,480 Especially that big gal with the rope. 180 00:15:35,690 --> 00:15:38,360 Now, let's make some magic. 181 00:15:38,990 --> 00:15:41,160 Rolling, people. This is a take. 182 00:15:41,450 --> 00:15:45,160 And if it's not too inconvenient, this time with talent. 183 00:15:49,250 --> 00:15:53,500 This bites! Your commercial's stupid, you're a no-talent hack... 184 00:15:53,670 --> 00:15:57,670 and your donuts are stale! I'm out of here fast, fast, fast! 185 00:15:58,210 --> 00:15:59,460 - Ohh! 186 00:16:07,890 --> 00:16:10,020 Well, looks like that's a wrap. 187 00:16:13,980 --> 00:16:15,480 You owe us, bunkie. 188 00:16:15,650 --> 00:16:17,780 Full reimbursement plus studio cost. 189 00:16:17,940 --> 00:16:21,110 Expect to hear from our lawyers. 190 00:16:22,110 --> 00:16:26,070 I can't afford another lawsuit. Unless... 191 00:16:29,660 --> 00:16:32,750 Connect me to Godfrey Studios. Reverse the charges. 192 00:16:34,170 --> 00:16:36,210 - Tell us why you wanted the nukes. 193 00:16:36,500 --> 00:16:39,540 What nukes? Where's my unit? Where's the sarge? 194 00:16:40,800 --> 00:16:43,930 Listen, buddy. It'll go a lot easier if you cooperate. 195 00:16:44,130 --> 00:16:45,460 We called your C.O. 196 00:16:45,640 --> 00:16:48,060 He said your unit had been taken out by enemy fire. 197 00:16:48,220 --> 00:16:50,430 Turns out it was you. 198 00:16:51,060 --> 00:16:54,060 - Did Fassan pay you to do this? - Do what? 199 00:16:54,230 --> 00:16:56,060 I don't know what you're talking about! 200 00:16:56,230 --> 00:16:58,270 Don't worry, sir. We'll get him to crack. 201 00:16:58,440 --> 00:17:00,400 Very good, lieutenant. Carry on. 202 00:17:17,460 --> 00:17:18,790 - Who's in here? 203 00:17:19,210 --> 00:17:21,460 Oh, it's you, general. 204 00:17:22,920 --> 00:17:24,300 Is everything all right, sir? 205 00:17:24,470 --> 00:17:26,350 Yes. I have found what I needed. 206 00:17:28,090 --> 00:17:30,380 Would you mind locking up? 207 00:17:36,940 --> 00:17:39,360 This exclusive behind-the-scenes footage... 208 00:17:39,520 --> 00:17:42,440 reveals more shocking behavior from these super zeros. 209 00:17:42,650 --> 00:17:47,030 This bites! Your commercial's stupid, you're a no-talent hack... 210 00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:51,000 and your donuts are stale! I'm out of here fast, fast, fast! 211 00:17:51,160 --> 00:17:52,660 Ohh! 212 00:17:54,950 --> 00:17:56,950 This just proves what I've said all along. 213 00:17:57,120 --> 00:18:00,500 Behind those masks, they're menaces who have far too much power. 214 00:18:00,670 --> 00:18:02,500 Why, if they set their minds to it... 215 00:18:02,670 --> 00:18:06,170 the "Just Us" League could easily destroy the world! 216 00:18:07,090 --> 00:18:09,840 Captain, how would one find this "Just Us" League? 217 00:18:10,890 --> 00:18:13,770 Put on a gaudy costume and threaten to hurt a lot of people? 218 00:18:14,970 --> 00:18:17,390 Thank you, captain. You've been a tremendous help. 219 00:18:21,560 --> 00:18:24,980 - Come on, Artie. Help me out. Where did Godfrey get that footage? 220 00:18:25,150 --> 00:18:27,690 How should I know? A garage sale? 221 00:18:27,860 --> 00:18:29,860 But it makes me look like a total jerk. 222 00:18:30,030 --> 00:18:33,320 Don't sweat it, kid. There's no such thing as bad publicity. 223 00:18:33,490 --> 00:18:37,830 Speaking of publicity, I could set you up for the swimsuit issue... 224 00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:40,210 cover guaranteed. 225 00:18:40,960 --> 00:18:42,670 You slimy little weasel. 226 00:18:42,840 --> 00:18:44,840 Do you think I can be bought and sold? 227 00:18:46,670 --> 00:18:49,010 A tough negotiator. I like that. 228 00:18:54,180 --> 00:18:58,020 - It's the power plant. - This negotiation is over, Mr. Bauman. 229 00:19:02,810 --> 00:19:05,400 If you change your mind, babe, I'm in the book. 230 00:19:15,120 --> 00:19:16,870 Do you see anything? 231 00:19:20,080 --> 00:19:21,870 I saw that. 232 00:19:22,040 --> 00:19:24,710 Mankind's time will be forever eclipsed! 233 00:19:26,420 --> 00:19:29,210 Tonight, my people will be avenged! 234 00:19:29,380 --> 00:19:31,590 Where do these nuts come from? 235 00:19:41,940 --> 00:19:44,530 What's going on? Is this some kind of a drill? 236 00:19:50,820 --> 00:19:52,740 It's him. 237 00:19:53,070 --> 00:19:54,400 He torched the sewers! 238 00:19:54,700 --> 00:19:56,580 I was wondering what that smell was. 239 00:19:56,740 --> 00:19:59,580 It's no joke. That's methane gas down there. 240 00:20:06,840 --> 00:20:10,590 Flash, we'll handle the fire. Diana, you take Mr. Moon-Face. 241 00:20:10,760 --> 00:20:12,140 Right. 242 00:20:21,480 --> 00:20:23,980 We need water here, fast! 243 00:20:24,190 --> 00:20:25,980 I'm on it! 244 00:20:54,970 --> 00:20:57,810 You can't escape! Give yourself up! 245 00:21:02,680 --> 00:21:04,970 - Never! I know what you want. 246 00:21:05,140 --> 00:21:07,140 - But you can't have it! - Have what? 247 00:21:07,310 --> 00:21:09,310 - My precious diamond. 248 00:21:20,280 --> 00:21:22,070 No. Stay back. 249 00:21:22,290 --> 00:21:24,920 Its dark power can destroy the world. 250 00:21:25,370 --> 00:21:27,210 Not anymore. 251 00:21:33,710 --> 00:21:36,210 Hey, princess. Fire's out. Need a hand in here? 252 00:21:36,380 --> 00:21:37,710 - No. He's finished. 253 00:21:41,350 --> 00:21:42,600 Whoa! 254 00:21:44,890 --> 00:21:46,390 That was a little harsh. 255 00:21:49,400 --> 00:21:51,780 - Are you feeling all right? - I'm fine. 256 00:21:51,940 --> 00:22:44,890 But there's still so much to do.