1
00:00:04,379 --> 00:00:06,923
(SINGING) The Simpsons
2
00:00:07,007 --> 00:00:08,091
(CROW CAWING)
3
00:00:11,761 --> 00:00:12,762
(MUFFLED SCREAM)
4
00:00:18,185 --> 00:00:19,978
(SCHOOL BELL RINGING)
5
00:00:22,272 --> 00:00:23,273
(BARNEY BELCHES)
6
00:00:24,441 --> 00:00:25,442
(HORN BELLOWING)
7
00:00:25,525 --> 00:00:26,776
(LENNY SHRIEKS)
8
00:00:38,914 --> 00:00:40,916
(PLAYING DIFFERENT TUNE)
9
00:00:46,963 --> 00:00:47,964
(TIRES SCREECHING)
10
00:01:00,143 --> 00:01:01,186
(HONKING)
11
00:01:01,269 --> 00:01:02,270
(EXCLAIMING)
12
00:01:02,354 --> 00:01:03,647
(TIRES SCREECHING)
13
00:01:05,357 --> 00:01:06,566
D'oh!
14
00:01:06,650 --> 00:01:08,151
(BRAKES SCREECHING)
15
00:01:28,672 --> 00:01:29,673
Ohhh!
16
00:01:39,140 --> 00:01:40,141
(ALL SCREAM)
17
00:01:44,521 --> 00:01:46,356
(ALL SIGH IN RELIEF)
18
00:01:57,367 --> 00:02:00,829
Three, two, one...
Happy New Year!
19
00:02:00,912 --> 00:02:02,414
Of school!
20
00:02:04,666 --> 00:02:06,126
What are you doing?
21
00:02:06,209 --> 00:02:08,003
It's the first
day of school!
22
00:02:08,086 --> 00:02:09,087
(LAUGHING)
23
00:02:09,170 --> 00:02:11,047
You're the government's
problem now!
24
00:02:11,131 --> 00:02:12,299
BOTH: Yeah!
25
00:02:13,341 --> 00:02:16,970
Free at last,
free at last!
26
00:02:17,345 --> 00:02:19,848
I can't believe we have to
start another year of school.
27
00:02:19,931 --> 00:02:21,850
Inever learned anything
at that suck shack.
28
00:02:21,933 --> 00:02:22,976
Who taught you
that language?
29
00:02:23,059 --> 00:02:24,060
A kid at school.
30
00:02:24,144 --> 00:02:25,812
So you did
learn something.
31
00:02:25,895 --> 00:02:29,399
Homie, the insurance bill is due today.
Can you make sure to mail it?
32
00:02:30,525 --> 00:02:33,570
Absolutely. Insurance is
the greatest deal ever.
33
00:02:33,653 --> 00:02:37,782
If I get hurt, I get paid.
And, man, do I get hurt!
34
00:02:39,159 --> 00:02:40,160
(SCREAMING)
35
00:02:50,086 --> 00:02:51,171
Easy.
36
00:03:03,475 --> 00:03:04,976
(MUFFLED SCREAMING)
37
00:03:08,938 --> 00:03:09,939
Oh!
38
00:03:10,023 --> 00:03:11,066
What is it?
39
00:03:12,984 --> 00:03:14,361
Not again!
40
00:03:21,701 --> 00:03:25,288
ALL: D'0h! D'0h! D'0h! D'0h!
41
00:03:27,457 --> 00:03:28,541
(LAUGHING)
42
00:03:28,625 --> 00:03:29,793
What a week.
43
00:03:33,838 --> 00:03:35,673
Welcome to another school year.
44
00:03:35,757 --> 00:03:39,094
One important note. The flower-based
names of the reading groups
45
00:03:39,177 --> 00:03:41,262
are now barnyard-based.
46
00:03:41,346 --> 00:03:43,306
Mr. Becker has
protested the move.
47
00:03:43,390 --> 00:03:45,892
So his group will
remain the Daffodils.
48
00:03:45,975 --> 00:03:48,311
Yeah! Where are my Dils at?
49
00:03:48,395 --> 00:03:51,815
ALL: (CHANTING)
Go, Dils. Go, Dils. Go, Dils.
50
00:03:51,898 --> 00:03:55,026
I never tire of that.
One other announcement.
51
00:03:55,110 --> 00:03:57,237
At the end of the month,
we'll be participating
52
00:03:57,320 --> 00:04:00,031
in the Vice President's
Assessment Test.
53
00:04:00,115 --> 00:04:01,241
He stinks!
54
00:04:01,324 --> 00:04:03,368
We're assessing you, not him.
55
00:04:03,451 --> 00:04:04,452
Withdrawn.
56
00:04:04,536 --> 00:04:08,498
The VPAT is part of the federal
government's No Child Left Alone Act.
57
00:04:08,581 --> 00:04:10,417
It will be a rewarding
day of pencil sharpening
58
00:04:10,500 --> 00:04:12,502
and eyes on your
own paper keeping.
59
00:04:12,585 --> 00:04:14,838
Cut the horse bull,
Seymour.
60
00:04:14,921 --> 00:04:17,924
Your scores on this test
will determine how much money
61
00:04:18,007 --> 00:04:20,593
this suck shack gets
for years to come.
62
00:04:20,677 --> 00:04:23,513
So we will spend every
moment of the next two weeks
63
00:04:23,596 --> 00:04:28,518
drilling the questions and answers
into your soft little skulls.
64
00:04:28,601 --> 00:04:32,355
BOYS: (SINGING)
Shy is to gregarious
65
00:04:32,439 --> 00:04:37,152
GIRLS: As peaceful
is to bellicose
66
00:04:42,532 --> 00:04:45,285
Okay, children. The answers
to the standardized test
67
00:04:45,368 --> 00:04:47,745
fall into 12
basic patterns.
68
00:04:48,413 --> 00:04:51,833
Repeat after me: Ac:c:ac:a,
dabacca, accacaca.
69
00:04:51,916 --> 00:04:54,294
Accaca,dabacca,accacaca.
Accaca,dabacca,accacaca.
70
00:04:54,377 --> 00:04:57,297
Number two:
Dacacca,adada,badacad.
71
00:04:57,380 --> 00:04:59,883
Dacacca,adada,badacad.
Dacacca,adada,badacad.
72
00:05:02,469 --> 00:05:03,636
Biggest city in Montana!
73
00:05:03,720 --> 00:05:05,555
Helena?
Wrong!
74
00:05:05,889 --> 00:05:07,557
912 divided by six.
75
00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:08,975
You can't teach this way!
76
00:05:09,058 --> 00:05:11,311
Yes, I can!
Studies show it works.
77
00:05:12,187 --> 00:05:14,147
Where were these
studies conducted?
78
00:05:14,230 --> 00:05:15,482
Ball State!
79
00:05:16,232 --> 00:05:18,318
So when you take
your practice test,
80
00:05:18,401 --> 00:05:21,029
take your number
two pencil and...
81
00:05:21,112 --> 00:05:22,655
What kind of pencil
do we take again?
82
00:05:22,739 --> 00:05:25,033
Number two.
Take a number two.
83
00:05:25,116 --> 00:05:26,367
(ALL LAUGHING)
84
00:05:26,451 --> 00:05:28,578
Looks like you took
a big number two.
85
00:05:30,246 --> 00:05:33,708
Yes, quite so. As you can see, I'm
holding a big number two in my hands.
86
00:05:33,791 --> 00:05:35,793
Enjoying the weight
and feel of it.
87
00:05:38,171 --> 00:05:39,172
(MURMURS IN DISGUST)
88
00:05:43,801 --> 00:05:45,345
(LISA HUMMING)
89
00:05:46,930 --> 00:05:47,972
(LISA WHOOPS)
90
00:05:48,056 --> 00:05:52,060
Test day at last! Now I can
show off at the federal level!
91
00:05:52,143 --> 00:05:54,020
Hey, Bart, on the
practice test yesterday,
92
00:05:54,103 --> 00:05:55,730
what did you pick
as the best title
93
00:05:55,813 --> 00:05:57,774
for the paragraph
about Manifest Destiny?
94
00:05:57,857 --> 00:05:59,275
Slurp my snot.
95
00:05:59,359 --> 00:06:00,360
(GASPS)
96
00:06:00,443 --> 00:06:01,986
I wrote "Slurp my
snot" in the ovals
97
00:06:02,070 --> 00:06:03,780
on the answer sheet.
True story.
98
00:06:03,863 --> 00:06:06,658
Dad! Bart's throwing
away his future!
99
00:06:06,741 --> 00:06:10,203
Oh, no! Now who will sell
oranges on the off ramp?
100
00:06:10,286 --> 00:06:11,538
(LAUGHING)
101
00:06:11,621 --> 00:06:12,872
(LAUGHING)
102
00:06:12,956 --> 00:06:15,708
(SIGHS) Great jokes
make me hungry.
103
00:06:15,792 --> 00:06:17,335
I wonder what's in the pantry?
104
00:06:18,962 --> 00:06:20,588
(HOMER MUNCHING)
105
00:06:26,678 --> 00:06:28,137
HOMER: Wait a minute.
106
00:06:28,596 --> 00:06:29,931
Mmm-hmm.
107
00:06:31,683 --> 00:06:33,434
Wait a minute!
108
00:06:34,727 --> 00:06:36,479
(HUMMING)
109
00:06:42,277 --> 00:06:44,696
Bart, we need to talk to you
about your practice test.
110
00:06:45,572 --> 00:06:46,573
(GULPS)
111
00:06:46,656 --> 00:06:48,741
I warned you.
112
00:06:48,825 --> 00:06:50,827
You got a perfect score.
113
00:06:51,202 --> 00:06:52,412
(SEYMOUR CHUCKLES)
114
00:06:52,704 --> 00:06:53,746
(BOTH GASP)
115
00:06:53,830 --> 00:06:55,665
Wonderful job, son.
Just stellar.
116
00:06:55,748 --> 00:06:57,417
HOW did I do?
117
00:06:57,500 --> 00:06:59,752
What did I get wrong?
Several answers.
118
00:06:59,836 --> 00:07:03,464
Several? That's more than
a few and almost a bunch!
119
00:07:03,548 --> 00:07:06,259
Bart, because of your
superior intellect...
120
00:07:06,342 --> 00:07:08,761
No, but wait! I aced the math part, right?
Because I...
121
00:07:08,845 --> 00:07:10,346
Run along now.
122
00:07:10,430 --> 00:07:11,598
(GRUMBLING)
123
00:07:12,015 --> 00:07:15,101
Bart, you and the other
perfect-scoring superstars
124
00:07:15,184 --> 00:07:18,313
are exempt from taking
the actual test today.
125
00:07:18,396 --> 00:07:19,397
No test?
126
00:07:19,480 --> 00:07:21,107
Don't be too disappointed.
127
00:07:21,190 --> 00:07:24,152
We are throwing you a pizza
party at a bowling alley.
128
00:07:24,235 --> 00:07:25,278
Well, it's about time.
129
00:07:25,361 --> 00:07:27,864
Come.
Your helicopter awaits.
130
00:07:28,406 --> 00:07:30,783
(BAND PLAYING GONNA FLY NOW)
131
00:07:36,205 --> 00:07:39,292
Check it out!
Bart's a superstar, too!
132
00:07:39,375 --> 00:07:41,044
Bart's here!
Awesome!
133
00:07:41,127 --> 00:07:44,422
Wait a minute. This ain't no genius copter.
This is Con Air!
134
00:07:44,505 --> 00:07:45,632
(SEYMOUR LAUGHS)
135
00:07:45,715 --> 00:07:47,008
Take it away, Willie!
136
00:07:47,091 --> 00:07:49,093
(WILLIE LAUGHING EVILLY)
137
00:07:49,719 --> 00:07:51,638
WILLIE: Enjoy your flight!
138
00:07:51,721 --> 00:07:55,308
Brilliant plan to remove all the
underperformers for test day, sir.
139
00:07:55,391 --> 00:07:57,727
Yes. All of them.
140
00:07:57,810 --> 00:08:01,731
Why, Seymour, it seems I left
my sunglasses on the bus.
141
00:08:01,814 --> 00:08:03,107
Well, I'd best
retrieve them.
142
00:08:03,191 --> 00:08:05,234
Yes, yes, you'd best.
143
00:08:07,487 --> 00:08:08,529
Sir?
144
00:08:09,405 --> 00:08:11,699
So long, superstars.
145
00:08:23,086 --> 00:08:24,337
I can't believe it.
146
00:08:24,420 --> 00:08:26,673
Superintendent
Chalmers betrayed me
147
00:08:26,756 --> 00:08:30,385
after all the wrapping paper
I bought from his daughter.
148
00:08:30,468 --> 00:08:32,679
Pizza party!
Pizza party!
149
00:08:32,762 --> 00:08:35,723
Helicopter!
Helicopter!
150
00:08:35,807 --> 00:08:37,100
Stop it!
All of you!
151
00:08:37,183 --> 00:08:40,603
What's the matter, superstar?
Feeling sorry for the normals?
152
00:08:40,687 --> 00:08:45,274
Don't you get it? There is no pizza party!
This isn't a helicopter!
153
00:08:45,358 --> 00:08:47,068
No pizza party?
154
00:08:47,151 --> 00:08:49,404
Not a helicopter? Huh?
155
00:08:49,487 --> 00:08:51,781
(OTTO HUMMING SUPERMAN THEME)
156
00:08:55,118 --> 00:08:58,579
Let me explain this to you in terms
even the simplest will understand.
157
00:08:58,663 --> 00:09:02,375
We're hiding you in Capital City
for the day so your numbskullery
158
00:09:02,458 --> 00:09:06,003
won't drag down the test scores of
the children who are our future.
159
00:09:06,087 --> 00:09:07,046
Told you.
160
00:09:07,130 --> 00:09:08,464
Will there be other
numbskulls there?
161
00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:10,883
Sort of a numbskull
Olympics as it were?
162
00:09:10,967 --> 00:09:12,552
Let's all act stupid!
163
00:09:12,635 --> 00:09:14,887
(ALL BABBLING)
164
00:09:14,971 --> 00:09:17,348
Guys, guys! Save
it for the competition!
165
00:09:17,724 --> 00:09:18,808
Mmm.
166
00:09:21,602 --> 00:09:23,354
ID, please?
167
00:09:23,438 --> 00:09:25,314
Must be in
the glove box.
168
00:09:26,649 --> 00:09:28,317
(HOMER CHUCKLES)
169
00:09:29,068 --> 00:09:30,069
Huh?
170
00:09:30,778 --> 00:09:33,364
This was due two weeks ago.
I'm not insured!
171
00:09:33,448 --> 00:09:35,908
(GASPS) For the first
time in my life,
172
00:09:35,992 --> 00:09:38,578
I'm financially responsible
for my own actions!
173
00:09:38,661 --> 00:09:40,204
Uninsured!
Uninsured!
174
00:09:40,288 --> 00:09:41,664
MAN: Idiot!
175
00:09:42,665 --> 00:09:44,500
I'm not in good hands!
I'm in no hands!
176
00:09:44,584 --> 00:09:46,711
Like a bad neighbor,
no one is there!
177
00:09:46,794 --> 00:09:48,337
(CRYING)
178
00:09:48,671 --> 00:09:51,883
"Dear stupid
insurance company,
179
00:09:51,966 --> 00:09:56,471
"I meant to
mail this on time.
180
00:09:56,888 --> 00:10:00,016
"What do you mean,
'too bad'?
181
00:10:00,266 --> 00:10:03,019
"Screw you! Heh heh."
182
00:10:03,895 --> 00:10:05,396
(HUMMING)
183
00:10:05,772 --> 00:10:07,023
(GASPS)
184
00:10:07,607 --> 00:10:08,608
(SHRIEKS)
185
00:10:09,400 --> 00:10:11,444
I won't be insured until 3:00!
186
00:10:11,527 --> 00:10:14,113
Okay, until then, I have to
avoid any serious injuries
187
00:10:14,197 --> 00:10:16,866
or accidents on my
property, or I'm ruined!
188
00:10:16,949 --> 00:10:18,159
D'oh!
189
00:10:18,534 --> 00:10:19,869
No, you don't!
190
00:10:20,703 --> 00:10:21,704
(EXCLAIMS WITH SATISFACTION)
191
00:10:25,041 --> 00:10:29,128
Now I know some of you may
suffer from test anxiety.
192
00:10:29,212 --> 00:10:33,674
Here's a helpful hint. Imagine
each question is a baby chick.
193
00:10:33,758 --> 00:10:36,969
If you answer wrong,
the chick dies.
194
00:10:37,053 --> 00:10:38,387
(ALL CRYING)
195
00:10:38,471 --> 00:10:40,306
Shut up.
They would've died anyway.
196
00:10:40,389 --> 00:10:44,227
Now the test will begin
in five, four, three...
197
00:10:44,310 --> 00:10:46,646
Oh, my God. We should've
begun four minutes ago.
198
00:10:46,729 --> 00:10:49,524
Go, 90, go,
199
00:10:49,607 --> 00:10:50,733
LISA: You can do it, Lisa.
200
00:10:50,817 --> 00:10:53,528
There's nothing in the
room but you and the test.
201
00:10:53,986 --> 00:10:56,072
(CLOCK TICKING)
202
00:11:00,952 --> 00:11:01,953
(SCRIBBLING)
203
00:11:02,703 --> 00:11:04,413
(CRACKLING)
204
00:11:05,414 --> 00:11:06,624
(GRATING)
205
00:11:06,999 --> 00:11:08,543
(THUMPING)
206
00:11:13,089 --> 00:11:14,215
(RATTLING)
207
00:11:14,507 --> 00:11:15,716
Focus.
208
00:11:17,927 --> 00:11:21,347
Pride is to downfall as
overconfidence is to...
209
00:11:26,185 --> 00:11:28,855
What? They're all equally valid.
210
00:11:28,938 --> 00:11:32,358
But that can't be. In life,
everything only has one answer!
211
00:11:32,942 --> 00:11:34,151
(MILHOUSE HUMMING)
212
00:11:34,235 --> 00:11:35,987
Piece of cake, huh?
213
00:11:36,737 --> 00:11:37,697
Oh!
214
00:11:37,780 --> 00:11:39,949
I'm writing
on my shirt!
215
00:11:45,288 --> 00:11:46,998
Hey, Seymour.
I just realized something.
216
00:11:47,081 --> 00:11:51,544
You're stuck babysitting us losers,
which makes you the real loser.
217
00:11:51,627 --> 00:11:53,045
(ALL LAUGHING)
218
00:11:53,129 --> 00:11:54,797
For your information,
I am not a loser.
219
00:11:54,881 --> 00:11:57,675
I am a successful principal who
paints houses in the summertime.
220
00:11:57,758 --> 00:12:00,803
You painted our garage, and
it was peeling by October.
221
00:12:00,887 --> 00:12:03,890
Your dad insisted I
use an inferior primer.
222
00:12:03,973 --> 00:12:06,142
ALL: (CHANTING) Loser, loser.
223
00:12:06,225 --> 00:12:08,269
Excuse me, Mommy.
I have to go potty.
224
00:12:08,352 --> 00:12:12,565
(SIGHS) Otto, can you
pull over? Pull over!
225
00:12:12,648 --> 00:12:15,401
Sorry. I was mesmerized
by the little boy's dance.
226
00:12:15,484 --> 00:12:17,445
(WHIMPERING)
227
00:12:19,655 --> 00:12:22,658
(SINGING) Yo, I'll tell you what
I want What I really, really want
228
00:12:22,742 --> 00:12:24,744
So tell me what you want
What you really, really want
229
00:12:24,827 --> 00:12:26,913
I'll tell you what I want
What I really, really want
230
00:12:26,996 --> 00:12:29,123
So tell me what you want
What you really, really want
231
00:12:29,206 --> 00:12:30,833
Ralph, are you
almost finished?
232
00:12:30,917 --> 00:12:32,501
I finished
before we came in.
233
00:12:32,585 --> 00:12:33,586
(SIGHS ANGRILY)
234
00:12:34,337 --> 00:12:37,006
All right. Now we can get
back on the bus and on...
235
00:12:37,089 --> 00:12:38,799
(SEYMOUR SCREAMS)
236
00:12:39,258 --> 00:12:40,259
(LAUGHING)
237
00:12:40,343 --> 00:12:41,677
All aboard?
238
00:12:41,928 --> 00:12:44,847
Hey, Skinner. Want to see
our impression of you?
239
00:12:44,931 --> 00:12:47,558
Well, I guess I could use
an affectionate homage.
240
00:12:47,642 --> 00:12:49,310
(ALL BABBLING)
241
00:12:52,146 --> 00:12:54,690
All right, stay calm, boys.
Oh, God!
242
00:12:54,774 --> 00:12:57,860
We're at the corner of Cesar Chavez
Way and Martin Luther King Blvd.!
243
00:12:58,152 --> 00:12:59,487
BART: Ay, caramba!
244
00:13:02,198 --> 00:13:04,659
Homie, what are you
doing home so early?
245
00:13:04,742 --> 00:13:06,202
Marge, I won't bore
you with the truth.
246
00:13:06,285 --> 00:13:08,412
All I can say is
that until 3:00 p.m.
247
00:13:08,496 --> 00:13:10,414
we must avoid all
accidents and injuries
248
00:13:10,539 --> 00:13:12,041
or we're all going
to the poorhouse.
249
00:13:12,124 --> 00:13:14,794
You mean "back
to the poorhouse."
250
00:13:14,877 --> 00:13:15,962
Fine. "Back."
251
00:13:16,045 --> 00:13:18,923
And we can't let anyone else
get hurt on our property.
252
00:13:19,006 --> 00:13:21,092
I don't want anyone
to ever get hurt.
253
00:13:21,175 --> 00:13:22,969
Me, too, baby.
But we gotta get real.
254
00:13:23,052 --> 00:13:24,387
We can discuss it later.
255
00:13:24,470 --> 00:13:27,598
Right now, while you're here,
you can help host my book club.
256
00:13:27,682 --> 00:13:32,019
Book club? That's the most stupid,
boring thing ever! Thank you!
257
00:13:33,396 --> 00:13:34,855
(HUMMING CHEERFULLY)
258
00:13:35,898 --> 00:13:39,235
Now I would never say a bad
word about Cletus and Brandine,
259
00:13:39,318 --> 00:13:42,905
but I hear he's been feeding
slop to another woman's pig.
260
00:13:43,280 --> 00:13:44,615
(EXCLAIMING)
261
00:13:44,699 --> 00:13:45,992
(GASPS)
262
00:13:46,075 --> 00:13:47,159
(SHRIEKS)
263
00:13:48,119 --> 00:13:49,120
(SCREAMS)
264
00:13:50,579 --> 00:13:52,415
I've been cleaved!
265
00:13:53,416 --> 00:13:56,377
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
We're totally liable!
266
00:13:57,586 --> 00:13:59,130
(BOTH MOANING)
267
00:14:00,506 --> 00:14:02,383
Yeah.
268
00:14:03,968 --> 00:14:05,970
I mean, no!
269
00:14:10,224 --> 00:14:12,768
LISA: Maybe I should just
move on to question two.
270
00:14:12,852 --> 00:14:15,730
Question two, using what you
learned in question one...
271
00:14:15,813 --> 00:14:17,148
(LISA SCREAMING)
272
00:14:19,650 --> 00:14:22,695
Lisa, like Captain Kirk, I'm
not supposed to interfere.
273
00:14:22,778 --> 00:14:25,740
But like T.J. Hooker,
I say what is on my mind.
274
00:14:25,823 --> 00:14:28,200
If you don't know
the answer, just guess.
275
00:14:28,284 --> 00:14:30,161
(WHISPERING) This test
penalizes guessing.
276
00:14:30,244 --> 00:14:32,872
Itdoes? All right, nobody guess!
277
00:14:32,955 --> 00:14:35,791
Just be right! Get
down on your knees,
278
00:14:35,875 --> 00:14:37,877
Dray to your God, and ask him...
279
00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:40,296
No, demand he tell
you the answer!
280
00:14:40,379 --> 00:14:43,382
And if he won't,
he is no God of yours!
281
00:14:43,883 --> 00:14:45,134
(ALL GASPING)
282
00:14:45,384 --> 00:14:47,386
What's your plan now,
skin rash?
283
00:14:47,470 --> 00:14:49,889
My name isn't skin rash.
It's Principal Skinner.
284
00:14:49,972 --> 00:14:51,974
And you will
address me as such.
285
00:14:52,058 --> 00:14:53,184
Sure thing, Such.
286
00:14:53,267 --> 00:14:55,061
I'll deal with your
insubordinate wordplay later.
287
00:14:55,144 --> 00:14:59,023
My first duty is to get you boys to safety.
And that's... Where's Ralph?
288
00:14:59,815 --> 00:15:01,525
(FOGHORN BLOWING)
289
00:15:01,609 --> 00:15:03,277
I'm playing with Elmo!
290
00:15:12,745 --> 00:15:14,330
(CLOCK TICKING)
291
00:15:14,705 --> 00:15:20,294
Okay. I just have to keep these tipsy
witches safe for 10 more seconds!
292
00:15:22,046 --> 00:15:25,883
Van Johnson was never half
the man Van Heflin was.
293
00:15:26,884 --> 00:15:27,927
(AGNES GRUNTING)
294
00:15:28,010 --> 00:15:29,178
Knife!
295
00:15:34,683 --> 00:15:35,684
(GASPS)
296
00:15:35,768 --> 00:15:36,852
(CRYING OUT IN SLOW MOTION)
297
00:15:40,731 --> 00:15:41,732
(GRUNTS)
298
00:15:47,279 --> 00:15:48,280
(SCREAMS)
299
00:15:48,364 --> 00:15:49,365
(GASPS)
300
00:15:53,953 --> 00:15:54,954
(SIGHS IN RELIEF)
301
00:15:55,037 --> 00:15:56,038
(GRUNTS)
302
00:15:57,373 --> 00:15:58,332
(SCREAMS)
303
00:15:58,415 --> 00:15:59,458
(THUD5)
304
00:15:59,542 --> 00:16:00,876
MR. BURNS: Apaches!
305
00:16:01,585 --> 00:16:03,295
Mr. Burns!
306
00:16:03,379 --> 00:16:07,967
Why do terrible things always happen
to wonderful people at 3:01 p.m.?
307
00:16:08,050 --> 00:16:10,094
Which, for the record,
is the correct time.
308
00:16:17,226 --> 00:16:20,062
(MUFFLED) So, plans
for the weekend?
309
00:16:21,021 --> 00:16:24,441
Marge, are you mad I forgot
to send in the payment?
310
00:16:24,525 --> 00:16:27,153
No, sweetie. At this
point in a marriage,
311
00:16:27,236 --> 00:16:30,197
a wife should know what her
husband can do and what he can't.
312
00:16:30,281 --> 00:16:32,867
Who was I to think you
could mail an envelope?
313
00:16:32,950 --> 00:16:35,619
Baby, I hope you
got snuggle insurance
314
00:16:35,703 --> 00:16:38,289
because I'm about
to file a claim!
315
00:16:40,791 --> 00:16:42,376
(FOGHORN BLOWING)
316
00:16:44,420 --> 00:16:45,838
(RAT SQUEAKING)
317
00:16:52,761 --> 00:16:53,721
Bart, do you have
your slingshot?
318
00:16:53,804 --> 00:16:55,764
No, sir. I see it
in your back pocket!
319
00:16:55,848 --> 00:16:57,141
Just don't
stretch it out.
320
00:16:57,224 --> 00:16:59,351
I was once a boy,
and like all boys...
321
00:16:59,435 --> 00:17:00,769
You like all boys?
322
00:17:00,853 --> 00:17:01,854
Ha-ha!
323
00:17:01,937 --> 00:17:05,649
Shut up! A child is in
danger under my aegis.
324
00:17:05,733 --> 00:17:07,109
Ha-ha?
325
00:17:28,964 --> 00:17:30,382
Run, Ralph! Run!
326
00:17:30,466 --> 00:17:31,508
Okay!
327
00:17:35,888 --> 00:17:39,975
Time to do what I've never
done as principal. Something!
328
00:17:44,855 --> 00:17:46,732
(PANTING)
329
00:17:47,149 --> 00:17:48,901
Skinner's spazzing out!
330
00:17:48,984 --> 00:17:50,486
I'm not spazzing out.
331
00:17:50,986 --> 00:17:53,489
I'm using the principle of
conservation of angular momentum
332
00:17:53,572 --> 00:17:55,115
to turn the container!
333
00:17:55,199 --> 00:17:56,659
BOYS: Oh!
334
00:17:58,452 --> 00:18:02,081
That is so cool. That's the kind of
stuff they should teach in school.
335
00:18:02,164 --> 00:18:03,249
SEYMOUR: We do
teach it in school!
336
00:18:03,332 --> 00:18:06,126
You're too busy eating sugar
snacks and horsing around!
337
00:18:06,210 --> 00:18:08,045
He's right. Learning
can teach you things.
338
00:18:08,128 --> 00:18:10,005
Education rules!
339
00:18:14,009 --> 00:18:16,011
(CHILDREN CHEERING)
340
00:18:16,095 --> 00:18:18,347
(PIANO PLAYING)
341
00:18:20,641 --> 00:18:21,892
(CHEERING)
342
00:18:22,309 --> 00:18:25,271
"But I reckon I got to light out
for the Territory ahead of the rest,
343
00:18:25,354 --> 00:18:29,316
"because Aunt Sally she's going
to adopt me and sivilize me,
344
00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:32,987
and I can't stand it.
I been there before."
345
00:18:33,070 --> 00:18:34,571
That book was awesome!
346
00:18:34,655 --> 00:18:35,781
ALL: Uh-huh.
347
00:18:35,864 --> 00:18:39,034
Next stop, Springfield
Elementary!
348
00:18:39,201 --> 00:18:44,456
Skinner! Otto! Bullies!
The "cowabunga" kid!
349
00:18:44,540 --> 00:18:48,294
And the wee nitwit! It's
so good to see you all!
350
00:18:54,174 --> 00:18:55,467
All done.
351
00:18:55,551 --> 00:18:59,263
And I've got two minutes to
take care of these stray marks.
352
00:19:00,639 --> 00:19:02,141
Well, that's it.
Uh-huh.
353
00:19:02,224 --> 00:19:04,810
The test is almost over.
And I haven't done a thing.
354
00:19:04,893 --> 00:19:06,145
I've blown
my whole future.
355
00:19:06,228 --> 00:19:07,313
Right.
356
00:19:07,396 --> 00:19:12,776
(SIGHS) Well, maybe it'll be more
fun to be a regular, average,
357
00:19:12,860 --> 00:19:14,069
stay-at-home...
358
00:19:15,070 --> 00:19:16,780
This test is a joke!
359
00:19:16,864 --> 00:19:17,865
Huh?
360
00:19:17,948 --> 00:19:18,991
Skinner?
361
00:19:19,074 --> 00:19:23,329
Todayl received an education
in how children really learn.
362
00:19:23,412 --> 00:19:27,583
By seeing their principal run around
on top of a shipping container.
363
00:19:27,666 --> 00:19:31,670
So children, put down your answer
sheet and drop that number two.
364
00:19:31,754 --> 00:19:33,255
(ALL LAUGHING)
365
00:19:33,339 --> 00:19:36,425
Yes, I know what that means.
I've learned so much today.
366
00:19:36,508 --> 00:19:39,678
This is my school, and
I'm throwing out the test!
367
00:19:39,762 --> 00:19:41,680
(ALL CHEERING)
368
00:19:41,764 --> 00:19:45,184
Hooray! I'm a brainy
outcast again!
369
00:19:45,267 --> 00:19:47,186
And finally,
effective immediately,
370
00:19:47,269 --> 00:19:49,521
I'm overturning this
school's ban on dancing!
371
00:19:49,605 --> 00:19:50,814
(FOOTLOOSE PLAYING)
372
00:19:50,898 --> 00:19:53,776
Kick off your Sunday shoes
373
00:19:53,859 --> 00:19:56,612
Please, Louise
374
00:19:56,695 --> 00:19:59,448
Pull me off of my knees
375
00:19:59,531 --> 00:20:01,825
Jack, get back
376
00:20:01,909 --> 00:20:04,912
C'mon before we crack
377
00:20:04,995 --> 00:20:07,539
Lose your blues
378
00:20:07,623 --> 00:20:10,125
Everybody, cut footloose
379
00:20:10,209 --> 00:20:11,543
Footloose
380
00:20:11,627 --> 00:20:14,505
Kick off your Sunday shoes
381
00:20:14,588 --> 00:20:17,299
Please, Louise
382
00:20:17,383 --> 00:20:20,094
Pull me off of my knees
383
00:20:20,177 --> 00:20:22,679
Jack, get back
384
00:20:22,763 --> 00:20:25,516
C'mon before we crack
385
00:20:25,599 --> 00:20:28,227
Lose your blues
386
00:20:28,310 --> 00:20:31,313
Everybody, cut footloose
387
00:21:27,786 --> 00:21:28,787
ENGLISH - US - PSDH